Someday You'll Write

Fixing the Broke

2012-02-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

We've all been told, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" but my friend D pointed out in her post here that occasionally things do need to be modified or updated. So it was with my scheduling and couponing systems: what had once worked was no longer effective.

A couple of years ago, I started with a coupon binder that I got with gift cards I'd earned on some money-maker deals. It worked for a little while, but I quickly tired of the time it took to get the coupons in and out of the sheet protectors.

After reading through several coupon-compiling methods in The Money Saving Mom's Budget, I settled on the coupon box. I was eager to put this together, and since we were studying finances and stewardship in school, I had the kids help. Educational fun - what a great combo!

All three spark plugs had a great time helping me sort and prepare the envelopes.

We followed the example pretty closely, not because it's a perfect model, but because it was a place to start. I'm learning that if I wait until I've worked out everything perfectly in my mind, I'll never start anything!

A few things we did change: I used legal-sized envelopes instead of the smaller size; I put the empty envelope box in the back for holding unsorted coupons; and we added our cash envelopes that I made last year based on the "prettified" version, explained here.

Yep, I made those! It was fun to work with all of those lovely patterns and flowers. I had decided a while ago that if I had a hope of sticking to the envelope system (and honestly, I mostly use these to file receipts), it should be attractive enough to warrant the constant viewing. :)

Lastly, I made some space for a pen, scissors, and a grocery list so that I have everything in one spot. I won't take all of those cash envelopes with me, but it's nice to have a place to store them. And to solve the issue of 152-coupon-pickup when the box gets dropped (the biggest drawback to using a coupon box), we picked a box with lid locks.

So far, this method is working well. I find it quick and easy to toss the coupons right into the envelopes instead of letting them stack up, unfiled, on the top of my microwave (I can't believe I'm admitting that I actually do that). Less clutter makes a happier me, so this is a complete win-win situation in my book!

In addition to updating my coupon storage, I was struggling with home organization. I love lists, but making impractically-long "to-dos" on random pieces of paper did nothing but frustrate me and clutter my house further. I have a homemaking binder, but I kept forgetting to reference it. I also tried using digital lists to minimize the scraps of lists that followed in my wake, but I do much better with a physical, tangible list.

I recently found the answer to my need for a sensible, paper list: the Motivated Moms Chore Planner. I'd seen it advertised on Money Saving Mom, but it wasn't until my friend A purchased it and gave it a more in-depth review that I felt confident in spending the money on it (I don't like to spend money on things that I could make on my own, especially when purchasing the item still requires me to print it out and thus increase expenses with more paper and ink).

The result? I LOVE it. It's simple; it's sensible and realistic; and it even reminds me to do things like feed the cat and trim the kids' nails. It was definitely worth the $7. It also suggested something I'd never thought of: cleaning the bathroom over a few days instead of the whole thing in one fell swoop. Since cleaning the bathroom is one of my most hated chores, I tend to put it off. But if I look at it from the standpoint of cleaning the mirrors on Monday and wiping down the sink on Tuesday, somehow that is more manageable for me (and oddly enough, I often get the whole thing cleaned on Monday and free up time later in the week).

Coupon binders and scribbled lists were a great start for me. As my needs have changed, though, it's been nice to find better solutions that fit my current situation. Not every change in life will be as easy as these were, nor will each change transition as smoothly as I hope these will. My hope, however, is that by implementing small bits of positive change, the larger upheavals won't be as earth-shattering as they could have been.

Avocado Attack!

2012-02-01T16:05:00.001-08:00

I've tried many frugal adventures in the past few years. While I've never purposely taken showers without hot water, I have glued shoes (it didn't hold), made laundry soap (so much fun!), and sewn fleece jammies (better to leave that to the experts for now). However, pitting and peeling 95 overly-ripe avocados has to rank up there on my "unusual frugal finds" list!

When a limb from Jon's parents' avocado tree came down just before Christmas, it showered down over 300 avocados in the process. A hundred were too bruised to be salvaged; Jon's brother kept a hundred; and we were blessed with the last 95 (yes, I counted them all).

The above photo does not do justice to the situation, since there were only about 45 left in the box by the time I decided to photograph the endeavor. It took hours of sitting on the floor of the kitchen, getting covered in guacamole-esk avocado guts, to get through the pit-and-peel process. Although I was tired and sore after doing it, Jon figured out that since avocados on sale are 2 for $3 and I was pitting them at a rate of one avocado every 2 minutes, I was getting paid a handsome hourly wage!

We all love guacamole around here, but we're not often willing to pay the price for avocados. So, even though it took a little elbow work and a few hours of my time, this was definitely one miserly attempt that went well and produced good results.

Over 30 pits in the sink (yep, my sink is nauseating chartreuse)! After we got the avocados divided and frozen, I decided that I'd like an avocado tree of my own and saved 6 pits to sprout. That part of the avocado frenzy didn't go quite as planned.

I'm currently saving up the money I don't have to spend on avocados to buy a tree next year. :)

Bloom Where You're [Trans]Planted

2012-01-24T15:34:00.000-08:00

(Photo Credit: MacroGirl Photography)

I love to learn, especially about home organization and money management. If there's a book out there on either subject (or, better yet, one that combines the two), I've probably read it. So, when I was blessed to receive a copy of "The Money Saving Mom's Budget" this past week as a gift from my cousin, I was elated and dove right in, starting with the introduction as I do with all books that I read.

Outlined in the opening pages was a summary of each chapter, and a line from chapter nine's content caught my attention: "bloom where you're planted." This made me smile, because I'm not living where I grew up or even where I thought I would spend my adult years.

When we first moved from my hometown to the fast-paced Silicon Valley, I didn't feel like blooming much. In fact, I'm fairly certain that I wilted for a while! The high cost of living; Jon's night job and schooling; and my injured arm were enough to topple any resolve of flourishing in my new surroundings.

As time went on, though, the Lord slowly removed each of my thorns and produced lovely roses in their stead. Jon graduated and later landed a much steadier job with day-time hours; my arm began to heal; and we're constantly finding new ways of keeping down costs.

In the process of these adjustments, I've become more aware of both my sinfulness and the Lord's graciousness. To have avoided the dead-heading trials of previous years sounds pleasant, but I know that in the long run I am better off for having climbed my Everest. And now that I'm at the top, I'm free to bloom in much more grandeur than I ever could have prior to the pruning!

The Money Saving Mom's Budget

2011-11-17T15:25:00.000-08:00

In case anyone missed it, you can pre-order the Money Saving Mom's Budget from Amazon. Since I've long enjoyed her blog, I'm sure the book will be equally inspiring. Even better is the fact that all proceeds from the book go toward Compassion International!

Due to revamping our budget, I've not yet reserved my own copy, but I hope to be able to do so soon. I have no doubt that it will be worth the wait!

Something Sweet

2011-11-10T15:37:00.000-08:00

Compared to many - perhaps even most - people, I lead a very vanilla life. I've learned to be okay with the fact that I have few extreme likes and to appreciate that I'm not terribly adventurous. That said, I do have a few things in which I genuinely take pleasure.

When my mom-in-law invited me to join her Sweet Adelines chorus this summer, I looked forward to trying it out. This activity would combine two of my favorite subjects: music and learning (learning, because I know relatively little about Barbershop singing...actually, I don't know much about singing of any kind, least of all Barbershop). I also figured that joining would get me out of the house once a week for something other than schooling or teaching piano.

To date, I've truly enjoyed myself at chorus rehearsal. The ladies are amazing. They gave me tons of literature on what, exactly, Barbershop singing is and made the qualifying process as painless as singing-a-capella-in-front-of-other-people-while-staying-on-pitch could possibly be. (Okay, maybe that wasn't so vanilla, after all!) I'm learning a lot about this form of music; I'm having fun while doing it; and hopefully I can help contribute to the group's performance at Nationals next October.

While costuming and stage makeup aren't generally things that fall into my comfort zone, it's good for me to try something a little out of the range of vanilla. At least I'll be colorful even if not comfortable!

No More CSF (For Now)!

2011-11-07T15:54:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that Jon's surgery was two weeks ago! Time seemed to drag as we anticipated the operation, and now that it's behind us, time seems to fly. When we arrived at the hospital nice and early Monday morning, we were told that the surgery would take about 4 hours. Since his previous surgery had gone longer than expected, I assumed the same would be true again and decided to return home once he was wheeled into the operating room.

His doctor called me about three hours later to let me know he was out of surgery and that all had gone smoothly. While I had some questions for her, such as finding out whether or not she'd found another CSF leak, I figured I'd just ask her once I drove back to the hospital. Since I knew Jon would be wanting me as soon as possible, I didn't want to spend too much time on the phone before leaving. Once I got back to the recovery floor, though, I found out that she was already back in surgery with another patient.

It took several hours for the anesthesia to wear off and for Jon to feel up to traveling home, but I was amazed at how much better he looked so soon after surgery. By Wednesday morning, he felt up to returning to work - just 48 hours after his operation! I was afraid he would overdo, but aside from some insomnia due to his medications, he made a full recovery without much setback.

At his first post-op appointment, we were able to get many of our questions answered. He did not seem to have another CSF leak - yay! - but there had been a lot of scarring from the prior surgery which was probably the root of much of his discomfort. As long as no more scar tissue develops, he shouldn't need any future operations.

The only problem he's currently dealing with is the headaches he gets right before the weather changes. I'd really hoped that this surgery would eliminate those, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Since I get heat headaches every summer, I can somewhat relate to this. Hopefully over time these will lessen in intensity or even go away completely.

For now, we're thrilled that he doesn't have any current leaks and that his doctor is pleased with his progress. This surgery was so much simpler and easier to deal with than the first one, and we know it's because so many people were praying. It was wonderful to have yet another very vivid reminder that the Lord truly does answer prayer!

Turning Their Hearts

2011-10-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

Several friends and I were lamenting over the hardships of rearing our spark plugs. Some days, it feels as though we spend every waking moment dealing with attitude issues and poor behavior. Days like these leave us parents exhausted, aggravated, and frustrated.

Today, I was encouraged by reading in 2nd Chronicles about Josiah - a king of Judah who rose to power at the tender age of eight after his wicked father was assassinated. This child king had no Biblical training, or none that the Bible records, and presumably what short influence his father had on him would not have been in alignment with God's commands.

Even with such a rough start to life, the Lord turned the heart of this king to fully follow Him, and after humbling himself, Josiah led all of Judah in repenting of their sin and renewing the Temple sacrificial system.

It's my job as a mom to train up my children in a manner pleasing to the Lord (remembering to honor my husband as I do so), but I must also remember that it is His job to turn their hearts toward Him. Raising children requires a blend of faith and trust as we seek to follow the Lord each step of the way. I don't have that perfect balance figured out yet, but I love the Biblical reminders of God's greatness to intervene and turn hearts toward Himself.

Along the way, He will encourage and strengthen us so that we can find joy even in the midst of weariness.

So, What's This CSF Stuff Really All About?

2011-10-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

CSF, CSF, CSF...try saying (or typing, for that matter!) this three times in a row, and you'll probably find yourself switching the letters around. I certainly do.

CSF stands for cerebro-spinal fluid, the liquid that surrounds the brain and spinal cord. It's some pretty awesome stuff. When it's appropriately contained by the dura, the special membrane surrounding the brain and spinal cord, it cushions and protects this extremely vital organ. Jon's CSF, however, isn't staying put. For reasons unknown to us, a hole developed in his dura somewhere up in his sinuses, thus breaking the needed pressure seal and allowing CSF to leak away from the brain. This creates myriad problems, from something as simple as congested sinuses to as dangerous as having the brain collapse on itself. Without the steady pressure that a completely sealed dura creates, havoc ensues.

Jon's surgeons believe that he developed his CSF leak around age 15, but he lived with it undiagnosed until age 30. His symptoms mimicked those of severe allergies, although he'd known for years that allergy medications, even prescription-strength, did nothing to ward off his intense reactions. He also noticed that there was no pattern for his splitting headaches and and bouts of nasal discomfort. He wasn't any worse during allergy seasons, and he felt no better once offending pollens diminished.

After L was born and we'd reached our out-of-pocket health insurance maximum, Jon decided to find out what was irritating his sinuses. After allergy tests proved that he was not allergic to any known substances, the allergist labeled him with "non-allergic rhinitis," meaning his reactions had no known cause.

Dissatisfied with this answer, Jon asked if I could get him in to see an Ear-Nose-Throat doctor. The Lord completely worked out all the details; usually, a patient has to see a regular doctor and then be referred to an ENT. Since Jon's doctor had already referred him to the allergist who had given him a diagnosis, the chances of that first doctor choosing to override the allergist's opinion were slim. However, the phone receptionist with whom I spoke pulled some strings and got Jon the ENT appointment without a referral. Were we ever grateful for that!

Toward the end of the consultation with the ENT, this new doctor asked Jon if his nose leak tasted salty. This one question changed Jon's entire course of medical care.

CSF can have a salty or even metallic taste, we later learned. Had we known that years earlier, Jon might have gotten help much sooner. CT scans and MRIs showed that Jon had not only a severe leak but also brain prolapse into his sinuses. Even with the severity of his case, Jon was very blessed to have had only minor headaches (some CSF patients are completely disabled by pain); to have avoided any bouts of meningitis; and to have experienced no mental distress even with the prolapse. The Lord was protecting him even in the absence of needed medical care.

One reason that diagnosing Jon was so difficult is that CSF leaks are rare. An estimated 5 in 100,000 people have them. Of that number, the vast majority of cases result from trauma, such as a car accident or surgery, and of those that are spontaneous (meaning the cause is unknown), most are middle-to-late aged women. So when a 30-year-old male with no history of trauma walks in complaining of a runny nose and headaches, CSF isn't the first thing surgeons look for!

As soon as Jon was correctly diagnosed, his doctors treated him as an emergency case even though CSF itself is rarely fatal. Since it can easily lead to extremely serious situations, such as meningitis, it is nothing to sniff at.

At the time of his surgery in August '09, we thought that would be the end of his treatment. What we'd not realized is that in cases of spontaneous CSF, the repairs often do not hold. We heard of one patient who has had 14 repairs to date!

Currently, it is not completely clear whether Jon has another CSF leak or whether he only has blocked sinuses. No brain prolapse showed up on his most recent MRI. His upcoming surgery on October 24th will be out-patient surgery to clear up his chronic sinusitis, which is the same as having a continuous sinus infection. The doctor gives him a 70% chance of staying clear after this surgery, so it's possible he'll need to have this procedure repeated from time to time. While he is undergoing the sinusitis surgery, the surgeon will also do a visual look for another CSF leak since he has all the symptoms of such. The difficulty lies in the fact that sinus problems and CSF symptoms are so similar that separating the two is often impossible.

Additionally, CSF leak diagnosis is relatively new. It wasn't until the 1950s-1960s that doctors discovered cerebro-spinal fluid leaks as the culprit for patients with splitting headaches and allergy-like symptoms. We're thankful that there is medical help available to Jon; 40 years ago, this would have been unheard of.

Certainly, this is not the most fun experience we've ever dealt with. Even with the unpleasantness, however, we can clearly see the Lord working. He helped us to get a diagnosis at the time when we could incur no further medical bills; He provided Jon with excellent surgeons; and He's shown us that even though this could be very dangerous, He's spared Jon from the worst scenarios.

It would be easy to get caught up in the "what ifs" and unknowns of CSF. But there is a lot to keep us grounded and thankful. A friend of ours is going through a kidney transplant process. Compared to the dangers and worries of organ failure, CSF is much, much less distressing. And while Jon went through the barrage of CT and MRI tests, he witnessed many gravely ill patients. He said it was a great reminder to be thankful for the health that he does have. His symptoms, while irritating, are not consistent, nor do they occur on a daily basis. It could even be called one of those "unseen" illnesses, since most people would never look at Jon and realize that he is sick.

While it is inconvenient and at times very frustrating, there are many positives - too many to remember or list. We can witness the graciousness of God, even in something as unpleasing as a CSF leak. It all depends on our perspective. We choose to see the glass completely full: full of God's mercy and blessing. Life just doesn't get better than living under the protection of the Almighty God!

The Six-Month Hiatus is Over!

2011-10-03T15:29:00.000-07:00

Imagine my shock when I looked at my poor blog and realized it'd been six months since my last post! This is probably not the best way to keep anyone's interest, that's for sure. Suffice it to say that we've had a wonderful but busy summer.

Now, however, I've had a bit of time to revamp my blog (a big thanks to my friend D for her help and encouragement as I fiddled with the design, layout, and tabs), and I'm looking forward to trying a few new things. For example, many of you have asked for more details about Jon's cerebro-spinal fluid leak. This coming week, I hope to put up a better explanation of what's happening and how we can see the Lord working through it all.

I also hope to write a few book reviews, and I want to share more of the humorous points of our lives. My three spark plugs constantly lend themselves to hilarious situations and conversations, and it's important to remember that even in the midst of the tireless adventure of raising children, there is much joy along the way.

Enjoy the rain!

The Song of the Lifeboat

2011-04-12T14:50:00.001-07:00

"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats." - Voltaire

Two things I've learned in life: Every trial is simply training ground for a harder trial down the road, and undoubtedly a storm is brewing during a lull in the weather. When Jon came home from work a week ago Wednesday and asked, "how good is our health insurance coverage?" I felt the first drops of rain.

For the past two or three months, he'd been experiencing headaches, unexplained fatigue, and a general feeling of ill, much like he did prior to his CSF leak surgery 18 months ago. Because he wasn't having actual leaking, however, we tried to pass off the symptoms as sinusitis, even though I really knew it wasn't. Last Wednesday, the leak returned, and with it, the horrible memories of his pre-op and surgery.

As much as I wish I could say that I trusted fully in the Lord's care and provision, the truth is that I panicked. Jon's current insurance plan is horrible - basically, it's only catastrophic coverage in the event of a huge emergency or disaster. And since it's a work policy, we can only change coverage during open enrollment, which we first thought wouldn't come around until October (far too long for a CSF patient to go without seeing a physician).

Thankfully, Jon was much more level-headed about it all, reminding me that the Lord knew from the beginning that Jon would have this condition, and that He would provide for and take care of us now just as He had every time previously.

The day after the start of this storm, I woke up with a nasty heat headache that I so often struggle with during the first few warm days of Spring. That evening, we discovered that Lauren has developed a hernia. Add to all of that the indigestion Tyler's been struggling with and top it off with extended family struggles, and I was really starting to feel overwhelmed by the waves.

And then I found my Lifeboat.

Isaiah 26:3 played over and over in my mind: "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." I don't remember memorizing that verse, but somewhere along the way I must have committed it to memory, and it has steadied my fried nerves and realigned my wayward focus.

Almost instantly, things started falling into place, starting with Jon's health insurance (he's on a different plan than the rest of the family). Open enrollment is in June, not October, and for an identical monthly premium, we can transfer him to a Kaiser plan with a manageable deductible. Since his surgeon works at Kaiser, this is an additional blessing.

I also decided that I needed to learn as much as I could on CSF leaks. We had no idea that it could return after the surgical repair, and I realized that I knew very little about this. What I've discovered has been shocking: repairs are only permanent 90% of the time, and when someone has a spontaneous leak like Jon does, the statistics are much lower - one woman reported having 14 repairs. This is a much more life-threatening situation than we'd ever understood previously, too. Ironically, instead of worrying me more, all of this information has helped me to feel more confident simply because I better understand what we could be facing. I've also learned that many of Jon's seemingly-random symptoms are probably all related to the CSF leak. It's definitely sobering, but it reveals just how blessed we are that his first 15 years with a CSF leak didn't harm him any more than it did. The Lord has been truly gracious.

Additionally, Jon's not had any more leaking since the Wednesday incident- another huge praise, because this might mean that it really was just sinusitis or that the leak has resealed (which can happen when the leak is small). While both of those scenarios are unlikely, I still find it encouraging.

We also learned that the kids' health insurance will cover an annual well-child checkup, so both Tyler and Lauren can be seen for their issues. Tyler is already feeling better as we reduce his sugar intake and increase his veggie consumption, and all of my internet research indicates that Lauren will not need immediate surgery for her hernia. And the the sunshine through the clouds is that my headaches have abated so that I can think and respond to things more Biblically and rationally.

I highly doubt that this succession of storms is completely over, but I am thankful for the reminder to sing in the lifeboat. I'm alive, and that in itself is something to rejoice about! I've also been reminded how minuscule these little waves truly are. When compared to the wife and four children who just lost their 20-something husband/father to cancer; the friend awaiting an organ donation; the uncle who just lost his job after over 30 years of service; and others struggling under huge, impending thunderheads, I really have very little to complain about and so much for which to be thankful.

Will I sing in my lifeboat? Absolutely. And the louder I sing, the sooner I realize that the Rescue Ship has already pulled me aboard. After all, He's the one who taught me how to sing during the shipwreck.

Child Rearing: The Missing Manual

2011-04-05T14:48:00.001-07:00

Over the past few years, I've read several child-rearing books. Okay, make that LOTS of child-rearing books. Some I've loved; others I've hated; but I've learned something from each. Authors give advice on training, discipline, education, health, safety, and myriad other kid-related topics. There is one aspect of training up little ones that is rarely, if ever, covered, though, and I find it a little disconcerting.

I cannot think of any book I've read that delves into the aspect of children as gifts, on loan from God. It's mentioned, oh yes, numerous times and by many authors, but I've not come across anyone who's actually stopped to dwell on the issue.

When I hear the term "loan," I think of a bank lending money. After securing a bank loan, I may have cash in a bank account, but it's not really mine. In most cases, I can do with it what I choose, but the end result is the same: I have to repay not only the principal, but also the interest. What would happen if I were to raise my children with this same mindset?

Whenever I've borrowed items from someone else, I usually give great attention and care to the borrowed item so that I can return it in as good of condition as possible. While I'm not careless with my own belongings, I'm not as careful with them since I don't have to return them to someone else.

All too often, I get caught up in thinking that these three spark plugs belong to me permanently, wholly, and completely - well, to me and my husband. Truthfully, this is a very selfish and unbiblical mindset. I am merely a steward into whose care these gifts have been placed by God. I love them as my own, and I try to be the best mom I can be. If I were to continually remember that they are loans, though, I think I would become a better mother than I currently am.

During the moments when I remember that my children are on loan, I act differently. I'm calmer, more collected; I'm gentler in voice and action; I have more patience with petty things. Some day, I will answer to God regarding my child-rearing attempts. I am not responsible for saving my children's souls - only the Lord can do that. But I am responsible to raise them in a manner that honors the Lord and is in keeping with His word.

While there may be a gap in parenting books, God's Word perfectly fills the void. I will continue reading other authors on the subject, but I will rely most fully on the Lord's infallible teaching, knowing that it's the answer to the "missing manual."

What If I'm Already Doing All of That?

2011-01-27T15:22:00.001-08:00

I love to read blogs, books, and articles about saving money. I'm always hunting for new ideas to try and creative tips to incorporate in my spending and saving habits. More often than not, though, I'm disappointed by what I read. It's not that the information is poor; rather, I either find suggestions that I'm already following, or the ideas are just not practical for my specific situation. My guess is that I'm not the only one who encounters these difficulties.

Occasionally, though, I come across a recommendation that I'm not currently incorporating. I thought I'd share them in one concise email in the hopes of helping others find some not-so-obvious ways of stashing away a few more cents here and there. They certainly won't make you millionaires overnight. But, over time, each might generate a few spare dollars over time.

These ideas are certainly not new to me. Most come from online blogs, forwarded emails, or Amy Dacyczyn's book The Tightwad Gazette. So, in no apparent order or creative fashion, here we go:

1. Fill up your gas tank in the early mornings whenever possible. Gasoline expands as it heats up, and pumps do not account for this. Theoretically, you'll get richer, higher quality gas in the coolness of the morning.

2. Also fill up when your tank is only half empty. Since gasoline evaporates more quickly when the tank is emptier, you'll lose less gas to evaporation if you keep it filled up.

3. If time allows, you can do a Google search to find out which nearby gas station is offering the best prices at the time. I can't always do this, but when time allows, it's nice to know that I'm getting the best deal.

4. If you purchase bagged produce at a set price, weigh various bags and get the biggest one. Even if you're only getting one that's a few ounces heavier, you're still getting more for your money.

5. Mark the date on your shampoo, toothpaste, detergent, etc. when you open each one and see how long it takes to consume them. Record the length of time it took on the next bottle, and try to extend the life of the second one past the first.

6. Experiment with using less than the recommended portions of dish and laundry detergent. Many times, we just fill up the washers' cups without realizing that many machines are actually designed to use less. Just be sure you're really getting things clean; no one wants to eat off of a dirty dish! :)

7. Those who make their own bread know that homemade bread is horribly crumbly (if yours isn't, I need your recipe!). When you're ready to slice up your loaf, cut the entire loaf at once on a clean cutting board. Scrape all the crumbs into a jar and let them dry out. Voila! Instant, free breadcrumbs to use in meatloafs, casseroles, and other dishes.

8. Another drawback to homemade bread is the fact that the stuff goes stale in about 24 hours. Many households simply can't finish off an entire loaf in that time, so repurpose the remaining unappetizing portions. Breakfast casserole, bread pudding, French Toast, bread pizza, and homemade croutons are all ideas to try.

For what they're worth, those are some of the less popular suggestions that I really liked. I can't always get every coupon deal; I don't have the storage space to stock up on excess supplies; and I can only cut so much from our expenses. But these things are a bit novel and can be fun at the same time. I love not spending money on bread crumbs, and I love keeping more of my gas money in my envelope!

I'd also welcome any other remote money saving ideas. Feel free to comment and suggest away!

Frugal Flop

2011-01-11T15:07:00.001-08:00

I thought I had a great, fiscally-savvy idea. Why not make the kids some play clothes/sleepwear? They really needed some, we needed to save money, and on top of that, it looked fun and easy (thanks to the tutorial at www.cottontailbabies.com). The result is pictured above (I haven't made Lauren's yet).

Truth be told, I think they're kinda cute. So how on earth was this a frugal flop? Let me count the ways!

1. I didn't end up saving much money.

2. They were NOT easy to make.

3. Foam stickers affixed to the fleece do NOT come off easily.

4. After just one day of use, the fleece showed significant wear, so I'm thinking they won't last very long.

5. The fleece is really warm, but the tee-shirt portion is really thin, so the kids are often uncomfortable temperature-wise.

6. Little boys don't keep white clothing very white.

As I said, these are cute, and the boys really like them. But those are about the only two positives. Live and learn, I guess!

Coupon Confessions

2010-12-10T14:44:00.001-08:00

Earlier this year, I posted about my new-found love of couponing. In that post, I explained what worked for me and what I was attempting to do to cut down on grocery bills. Well, I have some confessions to make now that I've been doing this for about a year.

I don't cut out every coupon. Okay, I don't cut out many coupons at all!

I don't try to get every freebie.

My "use yogurt tubs instead of purchasing disposable tupperware" backfired.

And -gasp - I stopped at Walgreens the other day!!

What changed? Nothing, really, except that I've gained a bit of wisdom about what does and doesn't work for me. I had to start somewhere, but over time I've been able to streamline a lot of things to make them work for our family.

For example, our local Safeway grocery store recently unveiled their new couponing program where I just simply upload coupons to the store card. This, combined with other e-coupon sites, has all but eliminated my need for cutting out paper coupons. Also, I don't get to see my parents quite as frequently as I used to, so the stretches between visits are longer and thus a lot of coupons expire before I get them (my mom kindly saves me her inserts so I don't have to spend $$ on a weekend subscription of the newspaper).

I also renewed our Costco membership because it dawned on me that I only have to save $5 a month to pay for the membership fee. I save at least that by shopping there, plus my cheese comes grated! (I love saving time as much as money, so this was a great thing for me.) Costco doesn't accept any coupons but their own, so again, the need for clipped coupons isn't there.

Now that Jon works days and takes the car, I don't have the option of taking a quick trip out to grab a few freebies at CVS, Walgreens, or wherever. I try to take a semi-monthly trip to Target or Walmart to pick up the needed household items, and I use a few coupons if I can. I don't get shampoo for free, but I do get a good deal, and I'm sure I've saved in gas whatever I'd have saved by getting the freebies since it takes so much gas to drop off Jon at work.

My biggest money-saving flop was using yogurt containers in place of buying clear Tupperware or Rubbermaid tubs. Since I couldn't see through the containers, I'd forget what meal was saved in which cup, and I ended up wasting a ton of food. So much for that frugal idea! My mom came to my rescue (again!) with this, though, and gave me a whole stack of clear containers she no longer needed. Hopefully, this way we'll save on the cost of containers as well as avoid throwing out spoiled food.

I know our needs will continue to change, and I'll have to modify my approaches with each season of life. It's rather fun, though, and I enjoy discovering what works and what doesn't. I even stopped in at Walgreens to get my recent prescriptions and to take them up on their free 8x10 collage offers.

Life as a stay-at-home, penny-pinching Mommy can be very exciting even in the seemingly-mundane areas. Life isn't static, and I take joy in finding the new changes, even the minute ones.

I'm sure things will have spun a 360 by the time I even post this. But at the moment of this writing, this is what's working for now. :)

The "Secret Weapon"

2010-12-02T15:46:00.001-08:00

When it comes to action stories, the scripts don't change much: hero and villain fight a mighty battle, and at first it isn't clear who will become victorious. That is, until the hero produces his "secret weapon" and deals his opponent the fatal blow. The hero wins, the enemy dies, and everyone goes home happy.

Whenever I read one of these plots, the first thing that comes to mind is, "Why didn't the hero just bring out the 'secret weapon' in the beginning and save himself some battle wounds?"

As far as I know, there isn't a logical answer to that question.

I've noticed that my own life isn't much different from the scenario above. As a wife, mom, and home educator, I have a "secret weapon" that, instead of tapping into right away, I tend to neglect until things have really run amuck. It isn't as though this secret weapon lies buried, forgotten, in a dark closet. Rather, it is daily before me, though I seem to stare right through it.

No, it isn't God's Word or prayer - though I've been just as guilty about neglecting those necessities as well.

The secret weapon of which I speak?

My husband.

Yes, I have forgotten to let him fulfill the role which God designed for him. I plan, create, develop many good ideas, but only when they fall apart completely do I turn to him and ask for his input. As it turns out, he has some really good insight (imagine that!). And if I would more readily seek his advice, I think I'd save myself hours of worry, frustration, and misery.

What opened my eyes to this was a book called "Don't Make Me Count to Three!" But it wasn't what the book said that sent me a warning signal; it was what WASN'T said.

I always begin reading a book at the beginning - the introduction, the preface, or whatever part comes first. So I did with the above-mentioned book. The author began her acknowledgments by thanking her children, then her friends, editors, publishers, and so on. But she never once thanked her husband (I double-checked). Honestly, he was rarely mentioned at all, even though it was a book on discipline - something I consider to be both parents' department, not just Mom's.

That isn't to say the book wasn't good; I found it very helpful in understanding discipline from a Biblical perspective. But I feel it could have been so much more profound if the author had enlisted the help of her husband.

I think that often we Mommies get lost in this battle of child rearing and teaching. We're with the kids day in and day out, often without respite. We feed them. We love them. We educate them. We train them. We chauffeur them. Caring for the kids becomes so ingrained in us that we forget that God has designed parenting to be a joint effort, and this can be very dangerous.

Of course, there are always special situations - I know of single moms who home school, of families where Dad does the schooling while mom works - but for the majority of homes, Mom does the child care and education while Dad wins the bread.

Please don't follow in my footsteps and neglect this wonderful helper whom God has graciously given you. Ask your husband for help and guidance. Get his perspective on your kids' education (and other areas of life, too). Use your secret weapon from the beginning and avoid some battle scars.

Chances are, not only will your home school life improve, but your marriage just might, too! :)

Education from A Kidney

2010-11-29T14:37:00.001-08:00

Not long ago, a friend biblically pointed out the error with the statement, "Never pray for patience!" So, I took her up on it...and got a kidney infection. Was God tormenting me? Was He punishing me? Was He simply giving me the opportunity to grow in patience?

Honestly, I think I would have gotten that infection whether or not I had prayed for patience. But yes, I do think He was giving me a way to develop further patience (not that I had much to start with). That said, He didn't leave me high and dry to figure out this whole patience thing on my own. Instead, He lovingly provided the patience I needed to get through something so yucky. I really think He was answering my request for longsuffering, though in a way that took me by complete surprise.

When I woke Friday morning feeling as though I'd been steam-rolled by the million-pound Cab-Forward train from the Sacramento Train Museum, I knew the weekend wasn't going to go as planned. The fever, nausea, back pain, and every other unpleasant side effect were enough to do in anyone, and I was absolutely miserable. For some weird reason, I Thessalonians 5:18 popped into my head: "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

Really, Lord? I gotta give thanks for all of this? I whined as I shivered in pain. But then the most amazing thing happened. I started thinking of all the blessings that had transpired during the first few hours of my infirmity.

*First, this could have happened ON Thanksgiving instead of the day after.

*It could have happened on a day when Jon wasn't home to come to my rescue.

*It also could have been worse...honestly. I only had a low-grade fever and moderate back pain.

*It gave me a completely new appreciation for the man I married.

*It made me much more sympathetic to others who were ill around the same time (if patience isn't my strong point, I'm even worse when it comes to sympathy).

*It forced me to rest after being on my feet for two straight days.

*It caused me to greatly appreciate the previous 28 years that my kidneys have never once complained in such a fashion.

*It helped me to see how God was supplying the patience I needed to endure; it wasn't something I was doing of my own.

And there were other things to be thankful for, as well:

*An EMT friend happened to be online that evening and insisted I go to Urgent Care (otherwise, I probably would have suffered another night before realizing I had something more than just a stomach flu).

*I made it to Urgent Care within 30 minutes of its closing, after which I would have had to go to the ER.

*Urgent Care took me in right away, even before others who were there before me.

*The doctor was sweet, thorough, and efficient and took great care of me.

I don't think I'm necessarily thankful for the infection itself, but I have learned a lot through experiencing it. And for that, I truly can be thankful.

And in addition to praying for patience, I'll also pray that I never, ever get a kidney infection again.

Reflections on Revolutions

2010-11-17T15:34:00.001-08:00

What??? A post about resolutions before Thanksgiving? I know, I'm crazy!

Or, maybe not.

Last year about this time, I started thinking about New Year's Resolutions and how the majority of them never become habits. While I did want to instill a few resolutions in January 2010, I didn't want my resolutions to follow the fate of most well-intended New Year's decisions. So, I decided to try something new.

First, I tried to avoid setting impossible goals - ones that were too hard for me to attain (such as running 10 marathons in 2010) or ones that I did not have enough desire to keep (such as cutting out any and all refined sugar - I love my sweets!). In addition, I limited myself to just 2 or 3 attainable goals.

Next, I tried implementing them as soon as I'd outlined them. I didn't wait until New Year's to give them a try. This way, by the time January First rolled around, I was already familiar with them and was comfortable with their partial implementation.

Last, I gave myself the entire year of 2010 to form them into habits. It takes time to permanently fix something into one's lifestyle, so why on earth do we suppose that instilling a New Year's Resolution into our routine will be a piece of cake?

The end results were well worth the time I spent considering and purposing the matter. I've been exercising 3-5 times a week since July; I've improved slightly on my nasty temper; I've had a little more patience with my kids; and I've read many of the books I'd hoped to finish by year's end. Am I completely perfect in each of these areas? Certainly not. But I believe that I've made further strides in each than I would have otherwise.

I'll test my theories again in 2011 and update my findings.

Happy New Year, everyone! (Okay, maybe that was a little preemptive, I admit.)

But I Don't Wanna Grow Up!

2010-10-31T21:26:00.003-07:00

Earlier this evening, Lauren brought me a pair of shoes she'd outgrown. Try as she might, there was no physical way her 18-month-old tootsies were going to fit into size-2 shoes. She fussed and fumed over the situation, and I tried to tell her that those shoes were for babies and that she was now a big girl. No go. Whether she could not understand me or simply refused to accept the facts, I don't know, but she never truly figured out what the problem was.

The funny thing is that this situation reminded me, a bit painfully, of my spiritual walk. The Lord reveals areas in which I need to mature, but I don't feel quite ready to grow up just yet. I'm content wallowing around in my old sin nature. He provides the means for me to repent of and remove these stumbling blocks, but just like Lauren, I'm determined to either ignore them, overlook them, or just plain refuse to admit to them. I want those baby shoes! I don't want big girl shoes. I was comfortable with the little ones.

In reality, I really do need to grow up. Baby shoes are designed for prewalkers. They weren't meant to give the support that a toddler requires, and often after being on a baby, they've grown worn and bear scuff marks and an occasional tooth bite (for whatever reason, my kids always chewed on their shoes). Early on in my Christian walk, I worked on growing my faith, telling the truth, and not getting cross with my siblings (baby shoes), but now I need to work on other besetting sins such as controlling my temper, setting my mind on things of God, and taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (big girl shoes). Even if I don't want to do these things, they're the next step in becoming more Christlike - in growing up spiritually.

Big shes will seem awkward at first, and they probably won't be very comfortable. But if I continue walking in them, before long, they'll start to break in.

And then it will be time for the next size up.

Monday's Mountains

2010-10-25T17:05:00.001-07:00

Nearly every Monday, I see seemingly hundreds of Face Book statuses bemoaning the beginning of the work week. People seem to need an extra cup of coffee, wake up with a migraine, or feel depressed for no reason.

Personally, I think Monday has an undeservedly-severe reputation for being cruel. For me, Monday used to mean the end of Jon's work week. It now represents the weekly start of our regular routine. After our comparatively-chaotic weekends, I'm rather ready for our steady schedule.

And really, if it weren't for Monday's mountains, would the weekend's down-hill stroll be nearly as wonderful? I rather think not. Mondays and weekends go hand in hand: the first makes the second all the sweeter.

Monday means new beginnings. It means a fresh start. It means we've just enjoyed two days off of work. It means we've just enjoyed our church fellowship. And it can be refreshing.

So, thank you, Monday, for bringing a new start to our school week, for helping us to regain the symmetry lost through the weekend. I greatly appreciate you.

Signs of the Times

2010-09-14T15:20:00.002-07:00

The signs are everywhere: stains in our rather-new carpet; dents in the faux wood paneling that covers the interior of our home; the pile of little shoes at every exterior door. The fact is that children leave their unmistakable marks on their little worlds. As frustrated as I get when I trip over left-out toys when I walk across the living room in the dark, I've actually grown to love (most) of these adorable reminders that my kids leave strewn in their wake.

Of all the things my kids have done to remind me of their presence, my favorite has to be the whistling hippos Lauren left in my back shower. Why? Well, that shower is tucked into the back bathroom at the back of my bedroom at the back of my house. If there were any place that should be untouched by my little spark plugs, the Master shower should be it. But, even there, the whistling hippos (which are adorably cute, by the way) lay there on the bottom of the shower, reminding me of my precious little ones. I suppose for safety's sake I really should collect them and put them back where they belong, but that little reminder every time I walk by the shower is something that truly brings me joy.

All too soon, the whistling hippos, the alphabet-shaped tub blocks, and even the grimy fingerprints will give way to driver's licenses, college text books, and - eventually - daughters- and son-in-laws. I'm eagerly awaiting the future, but right now, I'll cherish the current moment of toddlerhood.

And I'll pray that I don't break my neck after tripping over a hippo in the shower. :)

Someday I'll Write...Really!

2010-08-19T14:46:00.001-07:00

I love to write. I enjoy the thrill of hunting for that perfectly-exquisite word, that delightfully-eloquent phrase, that engaging opening line. English essays were some of my favorite assignments in high school and college - really!

With math, everything is concrete. Two plus two always equals four (and only four!), so if you put down 5 or 3, you're 100% incorrect. Not so with writing. I realized early on that, for many teachers, as long as I used proper grammar, attempted correct spelling, and tried to stay on topic, I could achieve, oh, say, 86% or more of a grade, even if I missed the mark a little bit. I loved that.

Now, years after English assignment deadlines have ceased to induce panic attacks, I find that I don't really have the opportunity to write as much as I did once-upon-a-time. (Somehow, I've never found time for writing an essay or research paper just for my own pleasure. I wonder if having three little spark plugs could have anything to do with it?)

I would really like to do more with writing, but I don't know what. I wrote a children's story, but since I can no longer finish the illustrations I began, I've not found too much motivation to attempt getting it published. I've heard of blogging for profit, which would definitely help our income, but there's this tiny little problem of having a consistent subject matter. I think I'd also have to blog more than once a month, too...not to mention gaining a reader audience. Somehow, I can't see that one happening, either.

So, for now, I'm content to bore my few followers with my random updates and topics that I post on my little Blogger site. I really do take pleasure in it (whenever I don't go back and reread them only to discover my mis-spellings, poor word choices, or controversial subject matter). It gives me snippets of opportunity and a tiny outlet for my love of words, and it gives my readers the ability to graciously overlook my many faux pas.

Perhaps someday in the future, around the age of 90, I'll reconsider trying to publish that children's book. :)

The Highest Calling

2010-07-29T20:54:00.002-07:00

Recently, I read Carolyn Mahaney's book, "Feminine Appeal." I loved nearly all of it and found it to be incredibly helpful as I struggle through the high callings of being both a housewife and a mother. In the final pages, Mrs. Mahaney wrote a beautiful and loving tribute to her mother Margaret. The author depicted Margaret as a hard-working, selfless, and loving woman who truly gave herself completely to others. In other words, this dear Margaret lady sounded as though she embodied the person I hope to someday be.

That is, until I read these lines: "...as soon as Margaret had sent her 5 children off to school, she spent the next six hours of her day tirelessly cleaning, cooking, and..."

That line caught me off guard. Why? Well, I don't make a lot of public noise over this, but Jon and I feel that it is in the best interest of our children to educate them at home. I certainly don't mind telling people when they directly ask about our educational choices (I'm posting it on my public blog, aren't I?), but I'm not one to announce to a stranger that, "Hey, did you know that we're going to home school our kids?" It's just not in my nature.

So, when I read of these beautiful, Godly women who sacrifice their entire lives for others, it encourages me that, maybe, I can do the same - that is, until I find out that they have 6 hours each day that are free from grimy little fingers and the constant care that little ones demand. I will, in all likelihood, never have this luxury. How, then, am I to do what they have done, while in addition teaching my little spark plugs?

Honestly, I haven't the faintest idea.

I know that I am not alone in this. When my parents first decided to undertake my education 23 years ago, "home schooling" was an unknown term. Today, nearly everyone has at least heard of home schooling if not even considered doing it themselves. Somehow, during the home schooling explosion of the previous generation, families - especially mothers - struggled, pushed, and fought their way through the awesome task of maintaining a home, demonstrating hospitality, and educating their kids. And if they can do it, I can, too.

It won't be easy. At times, it won't be fun. But, unlike my parents and other previous-generation home schoolers, I have a lot in my favor. I was home schooled, so I at least have a vague understanding of what this involves. I have been graciously given more curriculum than I know what to do with. I only have three kids (I've heard of families with 12 or more kids trying to do this). Most of all, I have my husband's complete, steady, and unyielding support, which is far more than many other women have. If anyone is prepared for home education, it's me.

With all of that said, I'll go back to my question: How does one do it all? I am certainly not the expert here (my oldest is only starting kindergarten this fall!!), but I have found a few things to be helpful:

First of all, I pray. A LOT. Especially before I get out of bed in the morning. If I don't, the whole day goes south before I can speak three words.

Secondly, I am a stay-at-home "stay-at-home mom." If that leaves you confused, let me clarify. I don't really go anywhere during the day. Now that Jon works days and needs the car, I find it really annoying to fight traffic in order to take him to and from work just so I have a set of wheels during the day. Staying home is my answer. I tend to stress out when I have a bunch of errands and appointments, so becoming a homebody really appeals to me. Thus, I have a lot more time than someone who has to take kids to soccer, T-ball, ballet, PTA meetings, Back-to-School nights, etc.

Next, I skip as many things as I can. For example, I don't mop, dust, scrub baseboards (it helps that I actually don't have any baseboards), or wash windows. Ever. Really. If something spills on the floor, I take a washrag and clean up the gooey area and go on my way. And with kids ages 5 and under, I really can't see the point of cleaning off fingerprints when they're just going to miraculously reappear moments later. When the kids are grown, I'll have time to wash the windows (I think).

Additionally, I try to include the kids in certain things. Baking is great; we count cup measures and talk about fractions while cooking. I can count it as school; they stay occupied and aren't busy getting other things out; and I get my food prep done all in one fell swoop.

Even better will be starting official chores this fall. I probably won't call them chores since my kids do better when I simply ask if they can help me, but I will start routinely asking for "help" in vacuuming, bathroom cleaning...oh, and dusting. We already ask the kids to help with picking up, clearing the table, folding clothes, and turning off unneeded lights. The older they get, the more they can help relieve me of some of my current obligations and duties. This isn't torture or child abuse; it's called maturity. (It can also probably be called "saving Mom's sanity, but that's for another discussion.)

Of course, this lifestyle isn't for everyone. I know many women who would go stir-crazy if they couldn't get out of the house every day. I also know moms who feel that cleanliness is next to Godliness and couldn't handle a little dust or some fingerprints. For me, though, this method gets me by. I may not be doing all things well (or somethings even at all), but by skimming over some things and enlisting my kids' help, I think we've got a shot at making all of this work.

And if we fail, I'm sure you'll be able to find me in the nearest mental hospital. But at least I tried.

It's Not All About A Clean House

2010-07-14T15:02:00.001-07:00

After my last post, my cousin reminded me of the fact that children grow up way too quickly. Before I can blink, they'll be gone; they'll be leaving for college, getting married, and caring for households of their own. As much as I love having a clean house, I can't let cleanliness rob me of the short time I have to spend with these dear ones before they sprout wings and fly the coup.

I kept this in mind the other day when I suddenly heard peals of laughter - a sure sign that destruction is under way - coming from the direction of the living room. Sure enough, I found my three little spark plugs bouncing all over my couch. Cushions and throw pillows (who keeps throw pillows on a couch when kids reside there, anyway?) had been cast aside so that these items would not impede the happy bouncers.

My first instinct was to roar like an angry mother bear, but I checked myself. Their excitement and laughter (they were oblivious to me) was rather contagious. I thought about that too-soon time when they would not even want to bounce on a dismantled couch, and, in all honesty, I realized that a few bounces probably wouldn't damage the couch frame...at least, not too much.

So, choosing to ignore the 17 Varner House rules that were being broken, I quietly walked away and let them continue in their glee. It really was fun to hear them giggle, and I reasoned that this way they'd be good and tired when nap time approached. On top of that, they weren't fighting. Since throwing punches seems to have become one of the boys' favorite past times of late despite repeated "incentives" for them to stop, seeing them play together was rather a relief for me.

And when we next visit my mother-in-law and my children mortify me by repeating their couch-destroying bounce session, I'll have no one to blame but myself.

All By Myself

2010-06-30T15:11:00.001-07:00

A dear friend of mine sent me a note in the mail last week. One line of it particularly caught my attention. She wrote, "Sometimes, we as mothers feel that we must do it all." I have not read a truer statement in a very long time, and it hit me that this is exactly how I usually live my life. I get caught up in frustration over the dishes that didn't get washed (again), the laundry that (still) isn't folded, or the toys that are (continually) scattered across the floor. I want to be that Superwoman mother who has a spotless house, a home-cooked meal in the oven just in case unexpected company arrives, and beautifully-behaved children who never fight and always lend a compliment at the most needed moments.

Ha.

In frustration, I often grumble to myself, "I just can't do it all by myself!"

And I think it is at precisely that moment that I realize what it is that the Lord has been trying to teach me all along: I'm not SUPPOSED to be doing this all by myself.

Oi.

God has most graciously given us Mommies some very wonderful helpers if we would but utilize them. He has given us His word to lead, guide, and teach us as we train up our dear little spark plugs for His glory. He has given us His Spirit to govern our less-than-perfect attitudes. He has given us our dear husbands who labor hours on end to provide not only for our physical needs but also give us support, love, and encouragement. He has given us our friends who pray daily for us and who can relate to our situations. There really is no shortage of help, but how often do we overlook, either accidentally or purposefully, these support systems that He has put in place?

The hardest part, for me, is remembering and utilizing these fantastic helpers. My dear friend took just a moment to remind me of this, and I am so glad that she did. I hope that I can, in turn, aid others in realizing this as well. God never meant for motherhood to be an "I can do it all" job. It's just too big to do it alone, and, thankfully, we don't have to tackle this mountain "all by myself."

Interior Decorating Failure No. 1

2010-06-24T15:16:00.001-07:00

Monday morning after Jon left for his first day of work, I took a moment to decide how to spend my day. Ordinarily, I try to tackle the most obvious, most unsightly home management problems (such as overflowing laundry and rampant stacks of dirty dishes) and then move on to the less noticeable areas of concern (i.e., our bedroom, where no wise creature would ever choose to invade). After brief consideration, however, I chose to follow a reverse pattern. Jon is accustomed to stepping over clean laundry that has tumbled onto the dirty laundry room floor, so he probably wouldn't care if he had to do it yet again. On the other hand, our poor bedroom has received such neglect over the past two years - it was our place to dump everything that did not have a permanent home - that I felt it deserved to be ignored no longer.

This decision made, the kids and I dragged out bags of Mommy's crochet yarn, hung up laundry that had been carelessly tossed onto the antique rocker, vacuumed, changed sheets, dusted, rearranged furniture, and vacuumed some more. The end result was amazing and inspiring. I suddenly had a bedroom that looked half appreciated, somewhat decorated (as long as you can tolerate the fact that the bedspread and curtains, both given to us for free, are very different shades of burgundy), and quite refreshing in its now-simplified layout.

So far, so good.

As one good deed deserves another, I decided to tackle the adjacent bathroom next. As mentioned above, I had been given some lovely curtains at no cost. They arrived in mis-matched fashion inside an opaque plastic bag. I had already hung the pair of burgundy curtains for the bedroom, and to my excitement there appeared to be another matching set in the bottom of the bag underneath several sets of tan curtains that are now residing in my living room. I wrestled out my $3 curtain rod from Walmart and, with electric drill in hand, managed to get the rod hung in a somewhat strait line. After I pulled out one of the remaining burgundy curtains and positioned it on the rod, I went back for the last curtain.

Only, there WAS no last curtain.

Instead, there was a nifty little burgundy curtain tie.

Oops.

I stood back to admire the half-curtain hanging down the right side of the window and started laughing. The best I could do was to use the tie on the single curtain and place some matching candles on the opposite side of the tub to try to balance out the color. It looks ridiculous!!

I've decided to leave it as it is, though, because it does make me laugh, and at least it adds a little color to an otherwise-uninspiring bathroom. Maybe some day I'll find a mate for my lonely curtain, or maybe in all my cleaning I'll eventually find the decorative burgundy grapes that my sister-in-law gave me years ago and hang them on the exposed part of the curtain-less rod.

All that to say, if you ever need a unique decorating style, I'm your (wo)man for the job. Trust me, it takes talent to accomplish such feats!

The Great Day Has Arrived

2010-06-18T14:30:00.001-07:00

My poor blog!! How have I neglected thee? I hope to make it up to you with the wonderful news I have to share in this post: starting Monday (yes, THIS Monday, as in 3 days from today!), Jon will begin a day-time position with a local company!!

I really haven't a clue about how I should be feeling right now. 5 years is a long time to endure something that, to me, was so unpleasant. 5 years also provides enough time to learn to passively accept that which I despise, to adjust to something to the point of its becoming "normal." So even though I've learned to put up with the grueling necessity of the night shift, I have no qualms of bidding it goodbye (except to be afraid that the new job will somehow fall through and we'll have to go back to it...again).

The greatest emotion I currently feel is thankfulness. I am thankful to God for giving me this wonderful gift. I am thankful to the many, many faithful family and friends who have prayed with us for so long. I am thankful to be released from the drudgery of being a night-time single parent. I am thankful that my husband can finally go to a job that he looks forward to, and one which will hopefully enable him to live a more healthy lifestyle (grave shift doesn't do much for one's immune system, that's for sure!).

I hope I never lose this thankfulness; I hope I never forget what it is that we are leaving behind; and I hope I never forget to pray for those who must continue on with late-night hours or other less-than-ideal employment.

Hopefully this will help me to become a better wife, mother, and homemaker. I have tried my best to improve on these qualities while Jon was still on nights, but now that I won't have to tell the kids to be quiet at every turn, now that I can clean and vacuum without worrying about waking anyone up, and now that our schedule will be closer to what the world calls "normal," I hope to do even better. I am excited about the possibilities!

With that light, I also hope to take a slightly different (and more consistent!) approach with my blog. For those who are interested, I plan to share some of my trials and triumphs as I plunge ahead into improving my teaching, cleaning, and culinary skills. I admit that I anticipate many set-backs, but hopefully I will be able to present them in a humorous fashion that others can relate to.

And, if all else fails, I'll just go back to ignoring my blog. :)

It's Gonna Be A Long Night

2010-05-03T00:49:00.001-07:00

One of the biggest reasons I hate the night shift is because it leaves me home alone, with three little ones and without a car. My greatest fear is that one of them will come down with something in the middle of the night when I am least able to properly care for them.

The ironic thing is that this has never happened - although the kids wake me up for various reasons, it's never been due to illness. This just goes to show that the Lord will not try us beyond our capabilities! He knows my limitations, and He has not required me (yet) to face this particular fear. And if/when He does, I also know that He will supply the grace I'll need to handle the situation.

Even more ironic is the fact that I'm sitting here at the computer at 12:53 A.M. because I'm coughing so hard I can't sleep. So, instead of being up with a sick little one, I'm up with a sick ME! I have a feeling that it's going to be a long night. While I do hope that I can soon be rid of this most recent virus, it is a good reminder to be thankful for my health when I do have it.

And it also reminded me of a funny incident that occurred a few weeks back. I was sound asleep when, at 3:40A.M., I heard a little voice.

Kyle: Mommy? I can't find my pillow.
Me: Just look for it in the morning.
Kyle: But I really NEED my pillow.
Me (stumbling, half asleep, into his room): Kyle, it's right there, at the top of your bed, where it belongs!
Kyle: Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Oh, the joys of being a night-time parent! :)

Hesitant Anticipation

2010-03-25T15:11:00.001-07:00

Before Jon graduated, I eagerly longed for the day he would no longer have school work. It just could not come quickly enough, in my opinion! Now that we're on the other side of graduation (and let me assure you, it's been every bit as wonderful as I'd imagined!), I am just as eager for the day that he'll no longer work nights. I mean, if no school is this good, what could be better than having him work normal hours where he can be home with me at night and on the weekends?

And yet, as much as I want that new job, I have to admit that I also hesitate, just a little. What if the new job falls through? What if it requires a move? What if, what if, what if? The security guard job he has is working...sort of. It's getting us by for the time being, and it probably isn't going to fall through no matter how poor the economy becomes. In an odd way, I've come to depend on it, even though I loathe it as well.

Does this sound rather silly? It does to me, when I step back and think about it. I guess the insecurity comes from what has happened before: he worked nights years ago but then landed a great, high-paying day job. But when that fell through, he had to go back to nights. I'm afraid of going through that again.

Really, this is how I feel about Heaven and life after death. The Bible has promised that Heaven is for all of us who believe, that it is far better, far richer, far more wonderful than we can ever hope to imagine. And yet, since I've not actually seen it, since I cannot touch it, picture it, or imagine it, I am afraid of it. It's the unknown. Those who are already there are probably shaking their heads at me. It will be better than anything I have ever known, just as having Jon on a day shift will be unfathomably better than his current work situation.

So, I anticipate both Jon's new job (whenever it comes) and Heaven...but with just a hint of hesitation on the side. I'm sure that after the change has taken place, I will laugh at myself for being so silly. Perhaps, though, this is what keeps me human.

Mirror Image

2010-03-06T20:35:00.002-08:00

Recently, my friend Amy pointed out how our children reflect us - often with painful accuracy. When I see the boys do something wrong or hear them repeat something that causes me to blush, I usually find the root of these things in something I've said or done. It is rather embarrassing to see myself so perfectly replicated in my kids. More accurately, it's convicting.

On the flip side, when I find Tyler cleaning up a mess Lauren has made without my asking him to, when Kyle walks up to me just to tell me he loves me, I smile contentedly inside. It is comforting to know that more than just my errors are rubbing off.

In many ways, the boys' good behavior is just as convicting as their bad judgment. Do I respond with as much enthusiasm to chores as my kids do? Am I as willing to forgive them as they are to forgive me? Can I rest as contentedly in difficult situations as they do?

So, while they do mirror me, I also find myself hoping to reflect them as well.

Dragging My Dross

2010-01-19T22:13:00.002-08:00

My mom has often pointed out correlations between infants and the Christian faith. As a result, I've started noticing these comparisons as well.

One evening not long ago, Lauren stood fussing at the toy box, which was just a few feet from where I was sitting at the computer. I called her to me to see what her complaint was about. After several minutes, she still hadn't arrived, so I looked over to see what was hindering her progress. Slowly, yet surely, she was inching closer to me, dragging along with her an empty, mesh toy bag. Why on earth she wanted the bag to accompany her was beyond me. It served no purpose but to slow her down, making what should have been a very short journey into an encumbered, difficult task. In short, it was preventing her from making her way to me.

This whole scenario caused me to consider what things in life I tend to drag around with me, things that potentially hinder my faith, that cause undo anxiety, that interrupt my relationship with God. Chances are good that I have many such snags, and I am going to guess that I am still blind to many, if not most, of them. Yesterday, I became aware of just one.

In my finite mind, God must operate along a certain path. For example, I just assumed that God had to provide for our family by presenting Jon with a different job. Instead, He's shown just how mighty and infinite He is by providing in every way BUT a different job!! I also assumed that we needed to go out hunting for a new job if Jon were ever to find a new one. Wrong again.

I woke up yesterday morning in a good mood (amazing what two nights of uninterrupted sleep can do!), praising the Lord for His goodness, faithfulness, and provision. And for a moment (albeit brief), I even felt that I just might, in His power, be able to cope a little longer with this horrible night shift. No, it's not easy, but with God, all things are certainly possible.

While I was enjoying this peace that passes all understanding, Jon was at a work meeting where he discussed with his boss the lack of opportunity for a promotion at his current company. A coworker, who was also in attendance, told another coworker (who missed the meeting) how frustrated Jon was that Jon couldn't progress to a management position despite his best efforts to do so. The coworker who had missed the meeting then called Jon and informed Jon that he had an older brother who worked in the computer industry. Thus, Jon now has a meeting this week with this coworker's brother!

Without our lifting the smallest finger, the Lord opened up this opportunity. It came not from our ambition, but it was singly the Lord's working.

Now, this does not in any way mean that a new job is on the horizon; as far as we know, the computer company doesn't even have a current position available. But what this taught me was that the Lord is capable of anything, and just because I cannot foresee the way He may choose to provide, it doesn't mean that He's incapable of it. I just need to quit dragging along my dross (i.e., my own plans); I need to rest completely in His care; and I need to remember that God is not hindered by my limitations, desires, and sin.

Pretty amazing, isn't it?

A Damaged Diamond and A Perfect Promise

2010-01-09T14:19:00.001-08:00

I'm not a showy person, so I never really anticipated owning an extravagant ring. A simple, small diamond on a plain gold band was all I ever hoped to have. Imagine my surprise when, after proposing, Jon presented me with a half-carat, brilliant-cut, central diamond with two quarter-carat diamonds on the side set in a two-toned, ornately designed band! It was absolutely stunning, and I felt beyond treasured that he would bestow such a lovely gift upon me.

I never take my ring off, and after a few years of marriage, I inevitably whacked the center diamond against the wall when running after one of the boys. In doing so, I visibly bent one of the setting's prongs. I took it in to be repaired, and the jeweler informed me that not only was the prong bent, but I had actually chipped my very precious diamond. There really wasn't much to be done for the diamond, but once the prong was repaired, it completely covered the diamond's damage and the ring now appears as perfect as it was when I first received it.

After relaying this story to friend, I was casually asked, "Why didn't you have the ring insured? You could have had the diamond replaced." Even if we'd insured the ring and had the option of replacing the damaged diamond, I don't think I would have chosen to do that. While the ring is beautiful, it's the promise behind it that gives it value. Jon gave me the ring with this promise: "I will be committed to you for as long as we both shall live. Nothing will cause me to break that promise." This ring, its imperfections and all, symbolizes that promise for me. I don't really care that its original monetary worth has been significantly reduced; the promise behind it has not.

In a way, my ring also reminds me of the promise of salvation. I am a broken diamond, chipped beyond repair. But God in His mercy covered me with the blood of the Lamb, just as the new prong covers the chip in my ring's diamond. He no longer sees the broken me, but instead, He sees the righteousness of His Son covering my brokenness. My imperfections will never cause Him to remove my salvation, just as my broken ring does not annul Jon's commitment to me.

A new diamond might be worth more money, but my imperfect one is much more dear than any replacement could be, no matter the clarity "worth" of a new one.

Habakkuk 3:16-17: A Hymn of Faith

2010-01-08T11:23:00.001-08:00

Though the fig tree fails to flourish,
Though the vine refuses fruit,
Though the olive does not nourish,
Though the fields yield no food;

Even if the flocks should perish,
And though all the cattle flee,
It is Christ alone I cherish
In all this calamity.

I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy
In the God of my salvation!
The Sovereign God is my strength,
Whom I trust
In the day of tribulation;
I will find peace in His rest
In the day of my distress.

Though death's shadow does surround me,
Though my enemies be near,
Though my trouble does confound me
And I lose all I hold dear;

Even if the storm consumes me,
Though alone I can't go on;
I will look to Christ, the Holy,
Who alone can make me strong.

I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy
In the God of my salvation!
The Sovereign God is my strength,
Whom I trust
In the day of tribulation;
I will find peace in His rest
In the day of my distress.

Climbing My Everest

2009-12-05T14:17:00.001-08:00

I must admit, the view is beautiful from up here. The journey was incredibly difficult, frustrating, and overwhelming, but now that I'm standing on the top, I feel complete relief. I look back over my shoulder and down the path from which I've come and stare amazed at the things I've endured along this journey. For me, Jon's education comes as close to climbing Mount Everest as anything else in my life has yet.

Six years (actually seven, counting the year we before we were married) is a long time to wait for something. I wish I could say that I handled each hurdle with poise and grace, but unfortunately, the opposite is true. This educational journey has not shown me my strengths but rather revealed my weaknesses. Most of these weaknesses were unknown to me before the start of this expedition, and it took a lot of pride swallowing to admit that, perhaps, I didn't have as strong a constitution as I once believed I did.

Until recently, I really didn't understand why I had to go through this ordeal. It made no sense to me to have my husband earn an expensive degree that in no way guaranteed a better job in the end, especially when doing so required the expense of precious family time as well.

The reason for it all, I believe, was not for the degree itself (at least for me), but for the character-building that naturally accompanied it. No, I'm not perfect now as a result of all of this. I still can't cook well; I can't clean house at all; and I am very much prone to losing my temper. But this has forced me to recognize and admit my shortcomings and has spurred me on to improve. The verse that came to mind over and over was from James 1: "If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach." I truly lack wisdom, but God has been ever gracious to supply me with His understanding as I've turned to Him in times of distress.

I cannot say that I would choose this path again (okay, in all honesty, I would never wish this on my worst enemy), but since this is the path that God clearly chose for me, I am glad that He has shown me my own littleness so that I could learn more of His greatness. I hope that I do not soon forget the lessons that I've learned.

I also know that this is probably not the last Everest that I will climb. With job hunting now on the horizon, with three growing children under our roof, and with many other, unseen excursions ahead, I know that I'm not yet "in the clear." But my hope is that the character training that I've done on this Everest will carry over to help me as I begin the next mountain in life.

Thankful

2009-11-25T08:26:00.001-08:00

Several people on Face Book have dedicated their statuses to stating reasons for which they are thankful this holiday season. I loved the idea but never got around to doing it myself, so I thought I'd put down a few things here on my blog. Of course, I am thankful for my husband, kids, home, family, etc., and I don't mean to belittle these wonderful gifts, but in this post I'm going to list a few "less obvious" things for which I praise the Lord.

I am thankful for:

Flip flops: two summers ago, Jon and I house-sat for my parents while they vacationed on the coast. While we were there, Jon realized he'd forgotten to bring his flip flops. While it wasn't the worst thing in the world, he really wished he had some summer shoes. When my parents got home (we were staying a few extra days after their return), they had brought each of us a gift from their vacation. As my mom handed Jon his present, she said, "We didn't know what to get you, Jon, so we bought you flip flops!" If anyone has ever wondered whether or not God is concerned about the small things in life, here's the proof. Jon still has those flip flops.

Spare change: a few Saturdays ago, I was hunting through the house trying to find my little bag of quarters so that I could purchase a newspaper the following day. While my mom usually gives me her newspaper coupons, I wasn't going to see her for a while and really wanted that particular set of inserts. I never did find the bag of quarters, but after hunting through my purse, I came up with 85 cents. After rifling through cupboards, pen drawers, and the car, I couldn't find the rest of the needed 15 cents. So I prayed that the Lord would help me find a quarter. As much as I searched, though, I didn't come up with any more spare change and went to bed. The next morning before church, I decided to check my purse one last time, even though I'd hunted through it at least three times the night before. There in the little change pocket, was a quarter! Why the Lord chose to answer that small plea, I don't know, but I knew for sure that He was listening and caring for me by providing such a seemingly-insignificant thing.

A break in the rain: Lauren woke up early from a nap a few weeks ago, so I carried her around on my hip while the boys were still sleeping. Looking for quiet activities to do with her, I decided to go out front and check the mail. I had completely forgotten that it was rather dreary out, but I was instantly reminded of the fact when I stepped out onto the back steps and saw the rain coming down. I didn't want to take Lauren out in the rain, even for a few seconds, just to get the mail. I was about to turn right back inside when suddenly the rain stopped. We dashed out to the front, grabbed the mail, and had just ducked back under the carport when the rain resumed. It were as if the Lord held back the rain for a few moments just for us, and it made me smile the rest of the day.

These may be quite simplistic things to be thankful for, but they each meant a lot to me at the time. After reading Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place" and seeing all the things for which she praised God, such as a pillow case, colored saran wrap on a light bulb, fleas, and other things, I realized that there is so much to be thankful for, and not just the obvious blessings that we usually think about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

More on Couponing

2009-10-25T15:25:00.001-07:00

I've received lots of questions about my Frugal Finds post, so I thought I would add a little more about my couponing strategies and what does and does not work for me.

First of all, I found myself wasting lots of time hunting through my stash of coupons, so after reading a guest post on moneysavingmom.com about the use of a coupon binder, I decided to make one. Since I couldn't justify spending $27 on something designed to SAVE money ($27 was the amount that the blogger spent on her binder), I used Target gift cards and Extra Care Bucks at CVS to get my supplies without spending any money out of pocket.

Above is my binder (which is still greatly a work in progress). It's even purple on the front (not shown). I like all the nifty little pockets on the interior - scissors, pens, cell phone, receipts, etc. I'm still working on organizing all of my coupons into categories, but I'm finding that putting all items of one type into a page, such as baby, bread, breakfast, etc., is working the best for me. Although I have single-sleeve pages for my store names, the rest of the pages are baseball card holders. If I have several of the same coupon, I'll put them all together in one slot and use a magic-erase marker to write "x2" on the slot. If a coupon is nearing its expiration date, I'll note it in magic marker.

Yes, it's taken LOTS of time to organize this, and it still needs improvement, but it's also saving my sanity while shopping with three little ones in tow. I currently take the whole binder into the store with me, but once I'm more comfortable with couponing, I plan on simply moving the coupons for that week into the single sleeve of whichever store I am visiting and only take that portion in with me.

Oh, and an update on my coupon-collecting habits: I no longer clip EVERY coupon I come across. Gasp! Well, since we don't have a dog, there's no need to clip any coupons for dog paraphenalia. I also don't use hair color (though I may be persuaded once I start showing hints of grey), makeup (my husband hates it), or protein powder (you'd be amazed at some of the coupons I've found). If I know that I won't buy the item for any reason - free or otherwise - I just toss the coupon.

I do find it hard to resist a good deal on an item that I would dearly love to have but don't usually purchase. I'm getting better at resisting, but if I find I can't leave the item at the store, I may try clipping coupons for only items I routinely buy.

I also sign up for as many freebies as I can. I do it for two reasons: the freebies are often for healthy and/or organic items or for items that I commonly use, and they nearly always come with a super-priced coupon for more of the item. It seems like a win-win situation to me! Plus, it's fun to get something other than bills in the mail, wouldn't you agree? (Just a note: although signing up for freebies requires your phone number, I have never received a telemarketer call from any legitimate offer.) If you do choose to apply for freebies, I highly recommend setting up a junk email account for such purposes. That way, in the event that you get spammed, it won't clog up your usual inbox.

I'm also going to look into Swagbucks at the recommendation of a friend (thanks, Elissa!). If I understand it correctly, you can earn "free" money to such places as Amazon.com. Sounds good to me, but I'll write more on that when I learn more.

Happy saving! May you all have a restful Lord's Day.

Isn't it Obvious?

2009-10-11T14:17:00.001-07:00

Recently, I've come across the John 21 passage where, while out fishing, the disciples encounter the Lord after His resurrection. They were out laboring all night without any catch for their efforts. The Lord directed them to cast the net over the other side of the boat. They did so, even though at the time they had not yet realized it was Jesus Who was speaking to them. The incredible yield was 153 fish. In verse 12, we learn that they did not ask Jesus Who He was, for "they knew it was the Lord."

Sometimes, things occur in life that are so inexplicable in human or scientific terms that we know instantly that only the Lord could have performed them. There is no doubt that He is the One orchestrating these events, and they leave is in greater awe of His majesty than ever before.

For me, the days and weeks following Jon's surgery come to mind. I thought I knew exactly how the Lord would choose to meet our needs while Jon took time off of work to recuperate. He had accrued a week's worth of paid vacation (so we thought), and the previous month had had an extra pay day. While the extra pay check from the earlier month was an enormous blessing, the paid vacation fell through. Instead, the Lord graciously met our needs above and beyond what we could have imagined. My mom came to stay with us while Jon was in the hospital, and she brought with her ingredients for over a week's worth of meals. Other family and friends gave us gift cards, brought meals, provided childcare, and helped out financially. I was amazed and humbled at the ways the Lord used so many people to bless and comfort us!

I also know that there are times when it should be obvious that the Lord is behind something, but I fail to recognize His hand. Occasionally, I will realize it later, but I know that in some situations, I've completely neglected to thank Him for His provision. For these instances, I can only ask forgiveness and pray that I will continually become more sensitive to seeing the obvious.

Frugal Finds for Frugal Finances

2009-09-18T15:13:00.001-07:00

Several people asked me how I save money when purchasing groceries and household items. While there are many, many blogs and websites out there that offer tons of saving strategies and frugal ideas, I thought I would share what works for me. My situation is a bit different than most of the online forums, and I know that a lot of you are in my boat. What sets lots of us apart from the rest of the frugal world? Location, location, location. There is simply no getting around it: the Bay Area, LA, New York, DC, etc. are some of the most expensive places in the US, and grocery prices reflect that. Below are some of the strategies that have helped me to consistently slash my grocery bill in half or more.

1. Find an online blog or forum that lists out weekly deals and coupon scenarios for stores in your area. I like www.moneysavingmom.com (Thanks, Stephanie!). Caution must be used with these, however; I often discover that a Target store in the Midwest is having a deal that mine doesn't offer. So, just because the online info says there is a deal to be had, shop with an open mind and realize your deals may not be quite as good as others are getting.

2. Once you find your preferred blog (and only choose one! Otherwise, your monetary savings will be spent in time wasted on the internet), limit yourself to just a couple of stores. If you buy chicken on sale and Nob Hill and Hamburger on sale at Safeway, you'll spend your savings on gas to get from store to store. Not only that, but I've started noticing that if chicken is on sale at Nob Hill one week, it will be on sale at Safeway the next. This brings me to my 3rd strategy:

3. Stock up! If an item is on sale that is either non-perishable or can be frozen for later use, buy lots! Then you won't have to pay full price if you run out when there is not a convenient sale to be found.

4. Purchase a Sunday paper for the coupon inserts. There are usually 3: SmartSource, RedPlum, and P&G. If you buy a paper from a stand each Sunday instead of having it delivered to your door, you can shave a few cents off of the cost. Once you have your coupon inserts, clip out ALL coupons, even for things you don't normally purchase. Why? Two reasons. One, you may find a deal where you can get an additional item for free when purchasing the item you don't usually use (as long as you are truly saving money by doing this!), and two, you can either give away the item you don't use or you can use it as a gift. Coffee comes to mind in this situation; I hate it, but my extended family love it. So if I can get it for free or close to free, I'll use it for a Christmas gift.

5. The online forums will often give you links to printable coupons. If you have a printer, these are great ways to save money. Try to print as many coupons on one sheet of paper as possible (to save on paper costs), and only print coupons for items you buy since it does cost a few cents per print.

6. If your stores of choice have coupon cards, such as Safeway, link your card up to online card coupons. Amazingly, if you upload a manufacturer's coupon to your card and then print out an identical manufacturer's coupon, you can often get the benefit of both on a single item. Check out www.safeway.com for more information and to find the coupon upload links.

7. Skip Walgreens. Just forget it. No matter how good the sale may be, I've found Walgreens to be nothing but a waste of time. You can only use one coupon per item (thus you cannot combine manufacturer's coupons with store coupons); items are usually over-priced; some RRs are item-specific (such as buy Sally Hansen nail polish and get $3 RRs for another Sally Hansen purchase instead of $3 off of any type of purchase) but are not listed as such in the flyers; you cannot use a coupon that is for more than the cost of the item (I tried to buy a candle for $2.50 and wanted to use a "Save $3 on a candle" coupon but the cashier would not allow it); and the service (at least in my area) is more despicable than Wal-Mart!! But, perhaps, this is only true of my area's Walgreens.

8. Become familiar with all of your coupons. I've found many deals that are not listed on the online forums just because I know what coupons I have and then I spot a store sale for a coupon item.

9. Remember to take tax into consideration. I pay 9.25% state sales tax, and most of the time you have to pay for tax on the original item price, no matter how inexpensively you snag it. I've gotten "free"candles but still have to pay the tax, and since candles are not something I normally buy, paying the tax on them is an increase to my usual spending. I hope that makes sense...

These are my grocery-purchasing strategies in a nut shell. As I mentioned before, there are TONS of web sites dedicated to this stuff that spell it out much more eloquently than I did! A few of my strategies are a little more in tune with higher-cost-of-living areas, though, so I hope to inspire those of you who, like me, live in one of the most upscale areas of our great nation. It's still possible to achieve great savings, even if we cannot get a table-full of groceries for under $6 like some people can.

All of that said, here are a few other tips I've found to be helpful when trying to cut spending:

1. Don't buy plastic food storage containers. Do you buy yogurt or sour cream? Save the containers once you've eaten the product. Do this long enough, and you'll collect a whole cupboard full of stackable, plastic, disposable, convenient containers! Just a tip, though: take a sharpie and put big "X"s on the empty ones, so your spouse will know that a container does not necessarily contain what is advertised on the outside!

2. Don't buy cleaning products unless you can get them for free by combining coupons and sales. Just use vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda to clean. You'll find lots of cleaning recipes online that use just these ingredients, along with a touch of Dawn soap, and the results are a better cleaning agent that's safer for kids and pets than the usual name brand stuff.

3. Remember that newspaper you bought for the coupons? Use the rest of it throughout the week to clean windows, mirrors, etc. instead of buying paper towels.

4. Make your own laundry detergent. Online, you'll find recipes for both liquid and dry detergents. If you have a washer that's over 30 years old like I do, only go for the liquid stuff. My washer just can't clean well enough anymore to use the powdered.

5. Check out "The Tightwad Gazette" from your local library for lots of frugal ideas (thanks, Julie!).

6. Bake your own bread. All of it. Biscuits, loaves, rolls, etc. Some of you even make your own tortillas, something I've not yet tried. If you despise the thought of kneading all of that dough, figure out how much it would cost to make it from scratch and subtract that amount from the cost of purchasing it pre-made from the store. Then look up the cost of purchasing a KitchenAid stand mixer with a dough hook and see how many loaves you would have to make from scratch in order to save enough to afford the mixer. If you are diligent, you can actually pay for a mixer and get the benefit of both the mixer and fresh, homemade bread! (With the mixer, it takes me 5 minutes to make bread. Not too bad!)

I know that many of you are already doing these things and more to help stretch your dollars and to be the best stewards of your God-given resources! Feel free to add on to this list - I am always looking for more ways to save!

For Those Who Have Been Asking and Praying

2009-09-14T21:20:00.001-07:00

Many of you have asked how Jon is doing, so I thought I would post another update. He is doing incredibly well, thanks to everyone praying! While he is still susceptible to headaches, the chronic headaches have completely disappeared. As his sinuses become increasingly clear, his voice is changing. That takes some getting used to, to say the least! Coworkers have called and have not recognized him over the phone, the change is so drastic. I've known him for 10 years, but he's had this condition so long that apparently I'd never gotten to hear how he sounded without being congested.

Another change for the better has been the lack of symptoms. Before his surgery, he would have severe sinus pressure whenever there was a change in the weather. This usually brought on a heightened problem with the CSF leak, as well, making him very uncomfortable. Despite the rain and wind these past two days, however, he's suffered none of his regular symptoms and has felt very well! He will have another check up on Wednesday just to make sure everything is healing the way that it should, but we are confident that the results of that appointment will be good.

On the job front, Jon was able to complete the art test without too much trouble. The test was very reasonable and manageable, and Jon turned in the completed work Sunday night so that it was waiting for them Monday morning. We've not heard anything back yet, so he's a little nervous as he anticipates a reply. We both feel that this would be an ideal position for him and for our family, but we also realize that the Lord can see the future whereas we cannot. We are praying that we will hear something back by tomorrow afternoon, even if it is only confirmation that they did indeed receive the email containing his work. I find it difficult to remain calm in these situations; I am like the toddler who has no concept of time and who keeps demanding, "Are we there yet?"

Thank you for your continued prayers, both for Jon's final stages of healing and for the job situation. One "setback," you might call it, has been the fact that after taking a week and a half off of work, Jon is really struggling to get back into the night shift. He's been going on so little sleep for so long that it's nearly impossible for him to readjust after being able to sleep as much as he wanted to during his recovery. This is yet another compelling reason to hope for a different position. Again, though, the Lord knows our every need and desire and will open up the doors to the perfect job in His perfect timing. We must be content to rest in the fact that He knows our needs much more clearly than we do!

Post-op Appointment

2009-09-02T20:29:00.002-07:00

Jon had his first post-op appointment today. The doctor was pleased with his progress, which was good to know. She gave him a different medication to help alleviate the cranial pressure he's been dealing with. Each day is a little better, but he still struggles with headaches. Thankfully yesterday and today the headaches have been less severe.

The doctor also cleared out his nasal passages today, so he can finally breathe through his nose! It was so fun to watch him enjoy lunch. He said he could actually taste for the first time in years. Already he's noticed a huge difference in his health. He no longer has daily allergy-like symptoms that he's constantly fighting. This is exactly what we were hoping this surgery would accomplish, so we are so thankful that it is working!

I cannot say how much I've enjoyed this past week. While I could never wish this on anyone, since Jon had to go through it, I've found so much to be thankful for. Having him home for the past 8 days is certainly the best part. We had such a nice, relaxing family time. We didn't go anywhere or do anything fancy - Jon wasn't up for that yet - but having him home where we could visit with him and the kids could do activities with him was wonderful. I am so glad for this little break in our schedule!

I've also been amazed at how the Lord has met each of our needs - often before we were even aware of the need! It just goes to show, once again, that His timing is, indeed, perfect.

Here are a few things I've learned from this experience:

* I could never be a nurse. Watching someone go through that much pain is just not something I could handle on a daily basis. (Not to mention my aversion to blood, needles, etc...)

* I don't think I'd realized until last week just how much I rely on Jon or how much he does for me and the kids.

* Kaiser really is a good medical facility, all billing headaches aside.

* This was much harder on the kids and me than I thought it would be, but it has also been much more rewarding. I had no greater joy than to help Jon as much as I possibly could.

* When the egg carton falls unnoticed against the refrigerator's thermostat and turns it off, the milk will smell funny the following morning.

*It's easy to get caught up in only what is going on with my own family, but life continues on for everyone and there are still many opportunities to pray for and to serve others even in the midst of a difficult situation.

I Think We're Getting There!

2009-08-28T16:02:00.001-07:00

Since coming home from the hospital, Jon had been complaining of fever-like symptoms: achy joints and muscles, headache, etc. We kept taking his temperature, but if anything it was on the low side. This concerned me a little because I thought he was due to resume work on Sunday night, and he still couldn't be up for more than a few minutes at a time. Last night he woke me up (accidentally) around 3:30 and all of the achiness had left, including his headache! He looked better than I'd seen him look thus far, despite the early hour.

When we actually got up for the day, he had a minor headache that's been an on-again, off-again thing, but there is definite improvement. He even watched the boys while I turned in a job application for him (I'll let you know the results of that in a few weeks). He also told me this morning that his boss gave him the whole work week off, so he's not due to start work again until next Thursday night. His week of paid vacation will cover most of his missed work nights, which is a huge praise!

The boys spent the morning in our room visiting with him, which they loved. You should see the pile of toys they brought in for him to play with in case he got bored - it is beyond cute! My biggest concern now is that he doesn't try to do too much too quickly, but so far he's been taking it very easy.

I'm still exhausted and cannot sleep much. With everything going on lately, I've not been very diligent to remember my iron, and my insomnia gets pretty unbearable as a result. Thankfully I've remembered the past two days now. Lauren has been less fussy today, but it's so warm in the living room that she's having a hard time sleeping. Even though she's not fussing, her wiggling and cooing (although adorable) doesn't help me get the rest I need. Now that Jon's feeling better, I shouldn't have to sleep on the couch next to her anymore.

We cannot say how much we appreciate all the prayers; it is so encouraging to know that we are continually being lifted up. !

Next Update

2009-08-27T18:38:00.001-07:00

Jon's been home for a whole day now, and I think he slept about 20 of those first 24 hours. For someone who averages 4 to 6 hours of sleep a day, this is quite an accomplishment! He still cannot remain upright for long periods of time because he develops headaches whenever he sits up. We're told that this is very normal for a CSF patient, but if his headaches become severe or cannot be alleviated through lying down and medication, he'll have to return to the hospital and have the Lumbar Drain reinserted. Thankfully, his headaches have been mild and disappear as soon as he lies down again. Please pray that this continues to be the case and that the headaches disappear completely by the time he is supposed to return to work on Sunday night.

Today was a bit wearisome for the kids and me. It got pretty warm, too, which never helps. All things considered, the boys have behaved fairly well. Depending on how Jon is feeling, we may get to go for a walk tomorrow, which will help them expend some of their pent-up energy. Right now, we're all cooped up in a hot, sticky house without much outlet for busy toddlers.

Please continue to pray for restful sleep for all of us. Right now, I'm sleeping out on the couch so I don't further aggravate Jon's many bruises and needle pricks. The pull-out bed is quite comfortable, but since Lauren's crib is next to the couch, she wakes me up several times a night. I'm definitely looking forward to being back in my own bed again!

Jon said today that he finally feels like he's beginning to heal, and he also started smiling a little bit. That's a huge step since he's been so uncomfortable until now. The boys have gotten to visit with him several times, and they're very relieved that Daddy is getting back to himself again. They don't understand everything that's going on, so they've been very concerned for him.

Hopefully the next few days will continue to bring improvement for all of us. I am so glad to be this far past the surgery!

Second Recovery Update

2009-08-26T21:13:00.001-07:00

Jon's home now! This is really great; his doctor thought it would be at least 5 days before she could discharge him. He's extremely tired and cannot stay upright for more than a few minutes at a time (the 20-minute drive home was pretty draining on him), but he's fairly talkative considering everything he's just endured.

He slept for about 4 hours as soon as he got home. This was the first decent sleep he's gotten since getting to the hospital Monday morning (I don't think 6 hours of anesthesia counts). He was in NOC (Neuro-something-Care), which is a step in between regular recovery and ICU, and as a result he had to be more closely monitored (read: disturbed) than he would have been otherwise.

Thankfully he has several more nights off of work so that he can adequately heal. He has to be especially careful with his back since he had the Lumbar Drain; it could easily be injured, so he has to take everything very carefully. The nurse said he shouldn't even lift Lauren for the next two weeks.

Our biggest prayer requests right now are for quick healing; no setbacks; and sleep for the entire family. I'm exhausted. I didn't realize how physically and emotionally draining it would be to watch him go through this. Lauren was amazing while we spent all those hours in the hospital with him, but tonight she fell apart and was very unhappy.

My mom was able to go home today, and tomorrow Jon's mom will take the boys for the night to give us a little more time to rest. We are so thankful for all the offers and help we've received.

Well, I've finished my glass of milk and am off to bed. Goodnight to all!

Jon's Post-Op Update

2009-08-26T06:58:00.001-07:00

We arrived at the hospital around 8am Monday morning. The hospital staff was very accommodating and permitted me to stay with Jon until he was taken to the operating room around 9:45. The surgery was supposed to conclude between 2 and 2:30pm, but the surgeon didn't get started until about 11:30 and it also took about an hour longer than expected. No one told me about any of this, so when he didn't come out of surgery until about 5pm, I was a bit nervous!

His surgeon came out and told me that everything had gone really well and that she was pleased with the results so far. She was able to close both CSF leaks, alleviate the sinuses, and remove some polyps that they had not previously discovered. All of this should go a long way toward helping him to feel better, that's for sure!

I got to see him around 6pm, right before they took him up to his recovery room. He was pretty groggy and seemed to have tubes, wires, and monitors everywhere. The doctor and recovery nurse were fantastic and kept me well-informed from then on.

He was pretty miserable the whole first night, but by the time I got back to the hospital yesterday morning, he was starting to feel quite a bit better. He was able to eat all day yesterday, and he tried to sleep as much as hospital interruptions will allow.

He has a Lumbar Drain that is being monitored; people with a CSF leak produce too much spinal fluid and the drain is helping to regulate that before they send him home. Depending on how he's doing today, he may even get discharged this afternoon! This will go a long way toward helping him recover. He can only sleep about an hour at a time before a staff member wakes him up to take his vitals, change his IV, etc. The IV is also really bothering him. He feels much better every time they stop the fluids. Once he's home where he can rest and be rid of the IV, he should really start to relax and heal - provided the kids don't pounce on him too much!

My mom's been great - she's watched the boys this whole time for me and has even managed to keep up with cooking, dishes, and laundry! She'll be tired by the time she goes home. Lauren has been a dream baby. She's not fussed at all while we've been with Jon. The hospital staff have been very willing to let me take her wherever I need to, and I've been really grateful for this.

I'll post another update when he's home. Thanks for praying!

Growing Pains

2009-08-19T15:38:00.001-07:00

My dad had terrible growing pains as a child, so I was not surprised when I ended up suffering from them as well. Most of mine were in my feet and legs, and they were uncomfortable to say the least. In one year, I went from being the second-shortest player on my soccer team to the second-tallest. A person cannot grow that quickly without some sort of repercussions!

One thing that helped me endure the pain was the reminder that at some point, I would stop growing and the discomfort would eventually go away for good. It was only for a relatively short season of life that I had to face this problem. And, indeed, I finally stopped growing just before I turned 17. How glad I was to be rid of those awful growing pains!

Then something happened, something I never expected: the growing pains returned! Of course, these new pains were not related to the physical expanding of my body, but instead I developed spiritual, mental, and emotional growing pains. The down side to them is that they will never go away completely. They may subside for a season, but as long as I'm alive, I will face growth spurt after growth spurt as I learn more about about the Lord, more about life, and more about love.

These growing pains are just as wearisome as physical growing pains, and I find that I deal with them just as poorly as I did the physical ones. I moan, complain, whine, and fuss about the hardships that cause them. I pray for them to go away. I do everything I can to alleviate them. In all honesty, I hate them.

That said, I am also, very slowly, trying to learn to appreciate them. There really are some blessings that come from them. For example, they mean that I am alive. Pain cannot touch a dead thing. I am physically alive, spiritually alive, and mentally alive. They also indicate that I am growing (no duh!), and my hope is that I am growing in a positive way. They keep me from complacency. They stretch me. They teach me. They strengthen me. And once they're gone for the moment, they reveal relief in their absence.

Growing is not fun, and I of all people am the least gracious during periods of growth. The Lord is teaching me, though, just how much I need these growing pains and that I need to appreciate them. I find it difficult to admit to that, but I'm learning that a renewed attitude toward them helps me to more deeply benefit from them. Ironically, it also helps them to disappear more quickly.

I doubt that I will ever truly enjoy growing pains. I am, however, thankful for them and for what I am learning as a result of them. Someday, I'll be able to look back and see even more clearly the many ways that they have enriched, strengthened, and shaped my life.

The Love of God

2009-07-29T16:20:00.001-07:00

When we're tempted to become too focused on the minor mishaps of the day, how good it is to reorient ourselves toward the grandeur of God's love for us. Below are the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns.

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell

The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin

Could we with ink the ocean fil
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade

To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whol
Though stretched from sky to sky

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song

Somday You'll Write

2009-07-27T16:05:00.001-07:00

Years ago, my mom gave me Elizabeth Yates' book "Someday You'll Write." I honestly don't recall many of the details it contained, but the title phrase stuck with me. Whether or not I will ever become a published author remains to be seen, but because I enjoy writing as much as I do, I decided to turn my "someday" into today.

I don't have a theme for my blog. It will simply be a place where I can jot down my jumbled thoughts, life experiences, and humorous happenings. I might toss in a good recipe or two, share my trials and triumphs in child rearing, or express my delight in a newly-discovered verse or phrase.

Today, I will write!