The Sound of Grace

It's 1:36 P.M. on Friday afternoon.  As I sit here typing, I hear my current youngest Spark Plug outside with her older brothers, chirping at the top of her lungs, "We're swinging together!  We're swinging together!" in a sing-song style with a made-up melody.  While her vocal quality and tune may not yet be optimum, it's a beautiful sound to this tired Mama's ears.


I hate admitting to the fact, but my spark plugs fight with one another.  A lot.  Truthfully, I doubt they're any different from any other kiddos, but I still don't enjoy the sound of the arguing and bickering that so easily flows from the second bedroom or the back seat of the car.  Jon and I do our best to train and instruct these little people in appropriate behavior, but even with involved counseling and discipline, their inherent sin natures creep up multiple times a day.

So, when I hear my little dears playing well together, when Big Brothers are helping instead of hindering Little Sister, and when Little Sister is respecting rather than ribbing Big Brothers, the sound is music to my ears.  It's clear evidence of the Lord's grace poured out on my children, because under normal circumstances, they'll choose to fight.  It's great encouragement to keep at this stuff called parenting; in these precious moments of philadelphia, I'm reminded that, with the Lord's help, what we're teaching our children is taking hold. 

Our efforts are not in vain.

In WHOSE Image?

Despite my deep-seated personal convictions, I tend to shy away from topics that are apt to generate heated opinions or debate.  It isn't that I'm afraid or unable to defend my viewpoint, but I hate conflict of any kind, so it's easier (perhaps even selfish?) to simply avoid confrontation.

Today's post, however, will break that mold.  I've prayed about sharing this for some time, and I feel that this is something that should be brought to light.  I have no doubt whatsoever that I will step on toes, offend many, and likely regret some of the things I will say.

(For civility's sake, if you feel the need to ask about my convictions or would like to share an alternate view, I would ask that you do so privately with me through email rather than leaving a public comment.  Thanks so much.)

I bet I've really piqued some interests with an opening like that, huh?  ;)


So, what topic could I possibly feel warranted coming out of my shell?  Allow me to explain.

As thrilled as Jon and I were when we found out that our fourth Spark Plug was on his way, we were hard-pressed about what to do for health insurance.  Believing that our family was complete after Lauren's arrival, I had stopped carrying maternity coverage some three years earlier.  Never ones to sit back and hope everything works out in the end without any work on our parts, we promptly sat down and listed out nine coverage possibilities and quickly proceeded to follow through on them to see which would best fit our current needs.

One by one, we watched our little health insurance dominoes fall until only one remained standing:  government coverage, here in California known as Medi-Cal.  (It took over 4 months to get approved, but that's a story for another day.)

I chaffed.

To put it bluntly, I felt embarrassed.  We've lived in government-run housing before, but once we'd moved out of that situation, I'd hoped to never return.  I'd much prefer to leave government care for someone else, and it bothers me to no end that other taxpayers must pick up the tab for our baby's delivery.  Talk about humbling. 

The Lord reminded me, however, that He can choose to provide for us in whatever means He wills, even if it means that He chooses to use Medi-Cal to do so.  And in our situation, we feel that He is, at this time, leading us down this path. 

I stopped trying to kick against the goads and made an appointment with a Medi-Cal-approved obstetrician's office.

Things went from uncomfortable to downright awful.

The first time that I actually met with the Medi-Cal worker in the office (yet another story for another time), I received no fewer than three "invitations" to abort the baby.

THREE.

"Are you aware that Medi-Cal would cover an abortion in the event that you want one?"

"Don't you want to get a rush order on your blood work so that there would still be time to abort him if it looks as though he might have some abnormality?"

"You really should get that blood work done today, if possible, so that you can have legal abortion by 24 weeks.  Remember, you're already fairly far along, so that doesn't leave you much time for scheduling."

I could not believe what I was hearing.  Apparently, our government has forgotten something.  Our nation has forgotten it as well.

In whose image were we created?

In whose likeness were each of of fashioned?

In whose similitude has each embryo, fetus, baby, human being (all of those words are synonymous) been delicately detailed?

It does not matter our gender.  It does not matter our lineage.  It does not matter our faith or our virtues.  It does not matter whether or not we were planned by human decisions.

We all, from Adam onward, from a seconds-old blastocyst to a hundred-and-twenty-year-old geriatric, are made in the image of God.

And yet, here I was, being offered government funds to kill that which God had so miraculously fashioned, created, and designed.

My friend A touched on this very point in her blog post here.  She pleads, "Remember whose Image you bear!"

We all bear it, whether or not we even believe in the redemption of the Cross.  We are all imprinted with the image of our Creator God, who formed each of us specifically, purposefully, amazingly, and deliberately.

When we choose to abort an infant, we are choosing to ruin a portion of God's image.

And our government is shelling out millions to mar the Image that we all bear.

It doesn't matter if the one aborted has a medical issue; whether or not doing so may save the mother's life; or even if you don't believe that abortion really is murder.  Something can be true even if no person in the world testifies of it.  How many people once believed the world to be flat or the earth to be the center of the universe?  We can believe those theories all we want, but it doesn't make them true.  We can believe that abortion is not murder, but that doesn't make it true, either.


In the highly-recommended parenting book, "10 Things I Want My Son to Know," author Steve Chapman tells the story of his leaving for college.  As he prepared to back his truck down the driveway and off to new adventures, his dad leaned in the window and admonished him, "Remember whose son you are."  His dad's intention was to remind Steve that Steve need not mar the family's reputation by poor behavior, much as we need not mar the Heavenly Father's image imprinted on us.

As if this weren't enough salt in a wound, the Medi-Cal representative then tossed out off-handedly, "Oh, but we won't cover circumcision.  You'll have to pay that out of pocket."

Please don't get me wrong.  I have no problem with the government choosing not to cover an elective medical procedure.  There is enough financial waste through government means that any cuts mean that many fewer taxes owed.

However, circumcision is a commandment in the Pentatuch, an order given of God to set His people - the Jews - apart from all other nations.

So, in a move rife with anti-Semitic undertones, the government WILL pay to kill my precious child wrought in the very Image of God in order to avoid incurring full delivery costs, but it will NOT pay for a health procedure because of its Jewish origin. 

I'll let that sink in for a few minutes.  It took me a while to absorb, too.

At this point, many of you are undoubtedly thinking, "Are you CERTAIN that this method of insurance is where the Lord led you?"

It's a reasonable question, but thankfully the answer will redeem this entire saga.

It's bothered me that the Lord would use such an ungodly situation to provide for our family.  How could anything good come from something like this?  Why would He WANT this for us?

The Lord can use anything to His glory, and He has done just this for us in this situation.

Every time I've gone in to the office, every time I've received one of these horrid offers, I've had the opportunity to share the Gospel.  I've explained my faith.  I've shown that Jon and I feel that all children, no matter their genetic coding, illness, or health, are blessings and not burdens.  It doesn't matter to us whether or not this child has Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 18, Spina Bifida, cleft palate, or holes in his heart.  We would never opt to take his life in order that we might maintain an easier lifestyle of our own.  I don't know how many other people feel this way, but our hope is that by living out what we say we believe and by sharing our faith with these medical personnel that some seed may be planted, some conscience pricked, and that ultimately another sheep may enter the Fold.

It's likely that we won't ever know if anyone will be touched by our example.  But since the Lord has given us the opportunity to share, we'll take it and let Him finish the story as He sees fit.

Let us not forget Whose Image and Inscription we bear.

A few notes: 

1)  As far as we are aware, this is a completely healthy baby boy.  We have no concerns regarding his health.

2)  We know many people who do not believe the way we do about abortion, and we also know many people who have either considered or gone through an abortion procedure.  This post is not in any way intended to judge others.  It is merely a reflection of the horror of the government system and is intended only as food for thought.    

You Might Be A Fledgling Tightwad If...

(Photo Credit)

A month or so ago, a friend blessed me with my very own copy of "The Complete Tightwad Gazette."  I cannot say enough about how much I appreciate this book.  If you or someone you know is struggling to make ends meet, see if your library carries a copy or purchase a used version of it.  (I should probably write a complete review on it, but time doesn't permit right now.)

(I should also probably refrain from using so many parenthetical statements, but I don't see that happening, either.)

All side-tracked parenthetical thoughts aside, I started thinking about the things we've tried as a family to cut back on expenses.  Some are pretty silly and I thought a few of you might enjoy reading through a compilation.  (However, please don't assume that we've mastered the tightwad lifestyle or that we never waste a penny; our financial fiascos are many and we have a long way to go toward learning to be better stewards of our resources, financial and otherwise.)


You might be a fledgling tightwad if...

...your Christmas cards, if you even send any, end up being New Year's cards because you were holding out for a free photo card deal that never materialized.

...you figure out how to make your food processor function after the safety valve snaps off the lid by holding the valve in place when you want to run the machine.  (The valve then gets stuck in its intended slot and the machine keeps running even when you remove the lid, thus allowing all contents to be showered all over your kitchen counter.  It then dawns on you why the thing was not supposed to run without the lid firmly in place, and you realize it's probably time to break down and purchase a replacement for safety reasons, if not for a cleaner kitchen.)

...you feel a sense of patriotic duty when you have to replace an old, broken toilet with a new, low-flow model that promises to save gallons of water, thus reducing your water bill while protecting the environment.  (You then discover that it takes 4 flushes to actually get the thing to function the way the old-school-style toilet did, thus negating any possible water bill slashing and actually increasing your monthly costs.)

...you are blessed with a gift of Swiffer Dusters, and to extend the life of such a novel present, you throw the duster heads in the wash and reuse them time and again rather than throwing them away.

...you hook up your computer to your television so that you avoid "needing" any sort of Netflix, Cable, or Uverse subscription.  (You almost enjoy the horrified look on some people's faces when you explain that, without the computer input, you'd have no TV reception or DVD-playing ability whatsoever.) 

...you use a paperclip or segment of yarn (or both simultaneously) to repair a broken toilet flapper chain.

...you get miffed when the other toilet flapper chain also breaks and isn't repairable by the above-mentioned methods.

...you then resort to sticking your hand in the back tank of icy, slimy (though clean) water and lift the broken flapper manually so that you don't have to purchase a new one immediately.

...your sweet husband salvages the hard drive from an expensive-but-totally-dead computer and three years later finds a use for it, possibly saving over $100 in the process since purchasing a new one would have cost at least that much.  (And to think I would have tossed the thing on multiple occasions had he not prevented me!)

...you can quickly mentally calculate the true price of gas at Arco when including the $0.35 Debit Card fee as disbursed over the amount of gallons you need to purchase, thus deciding whether or not it is truly cheaper to go to Arco versus the other two options on the opposing street corners.  (You usually forget to bring cash with you so that you can avoid the debit card fee all together.  Note to self:  you might want to work on that.)

...you survive a mild winter without fixing the broken furnace and instead rely on a space heater only in dire temperatures and multiple pairs of socks and sweaters.  (We only did this twice:  the first year we were married when the landlord didn't want to pay for repairs, and the year before Lauren arrived when our current furnace died.  It wasn't worth repeating the following year; we opted to pay for the replacement part and then for the cost of running the heater and have been much toastier ever since.)

...you decide not to take your customary family drive to Half Moon Bay because gas prices are through the roof and, as much as you enjoy visiting, it's just not worth the cost.  (But rest assured you go the very next time prices drop to a reasonable level.)

...you get a thrill from combining free shipping rates, sales, gift cards, and coupon codes to obtain an item for free or nearly free.  (Swagbucks really does pay off!)

...you've never used a brand-new baby crib, even though you've had four of them.  (You never feel slighted, however, since two of the four were extremely high-end cribs that would have each lasted through all four kids had you not had children so close together in age that you needed more than one at a time and had you not prematurely given away all of the baby stuff and needed yet another one.)


And, of course, you may NOT be a full-fledged tightwad if...

...you opt to purchase the 8-seater SUV instead of the 5-seater SUV.  (The following year, you find out that Baby number 4 is on the way and that had you purchased the smaller vehicle, you'd now be searching for the bigger one, thus proving that it actually was a tightwad move in the long run).

...you cannot bring yourself to take icy showers to save on your heating bill.

...you invest in a high end blender that you've lived without for the previous eight years of marriage. (You use it enough and it brings enough satisfaction in its multiple capabilities that it was worth the investment, and of course you searched for several months prior to purchasing to get the best deal.)

...for safety reasons, you opt to purchase high-end, brand-new car seats for each of the kids.  (There are certain things for which it is perfectly reasonable to spend more than the very cheapest version allows, as was proved by two car accidents and the unharmed Spark Plugs who emerged from each smooshed vehicle.)

...you pay a higher fee for faster internet.

...you enjoy takeout meals every couple of weeks.

...you have a growing affinity for Starbucks' Peppermint Mochas.

...you indulge in an occasional fountain Pepsi, despite the frivolity and health deterrents of it.


While we are definitely not true tightwads (using that term to mean someone who attempts to save as much of his paycheck as possible, not someone who withholds unduly from another), it's fun to see if we can come up with a creative alternative to certain situations.

What are your best-loved tightwad attempts?

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Some Summer!

I cannot believe that we're already into our second eighth week of structured schooling (obviously, it took me a while to complete this post).  The past three months have crawled by for me (more on that in a moment), but summer simply flew!  Here's a photo fly-by of some of our warm weather activities we enjoyed:

To celebrate our last day of the 2011-2012 school year, we made "healthy" cookies.  They flopped, but we had fun experimenting!

We tried coconut sugar, coconut oil, coconut flour, and shredded coconut in various ways.  Results:  coconut sugar, while a little less sweet than sucrose, works well in nearly every recipe.  Coconut oil that is not expeller-pressed (meaning that it retains its coconutty flavor) is best used in non-edible recipes, such as homemade deodorant, sunblock, and toothpaste.  We have yet to find a satisfactory recipe for coconut flour; I won't say how many batches of bread, muffins, and pizza crust we ended up throwing away!

However, these Flourless Peanut Butter muffins made for many a fabulous, easy, gluten-free, high-protein breakfast.  Best flourless recipe we've tried to date!

One of our biggest experiments of the summer was a worm compost bin (please note that some photos below may not be suitable for those with squeamish tummies - you have been warned!).

We drilled holes all over a Rubbermaid tub I purchased for $2.88...

...added shredded newspaper (and jammed up our little shredder three times in the process)...

...tossed in some decomposing veggies (please note that onions do NOT make good compost material!  We learned this the hard way.)...

...and added $7.50 worth of earthworms.

Which we killed.

Along with two subsequent batches of worms.

Oops.

Thankfully, after moving the bin to a cooler location, taking care not to overwater, and starting with a new batch of healthier worms from the nursery instead of the bait store, we now have a happy, active worm bin with big, fat worms.  (Jon says they make the best fishing bait.)

In keeping with Jon's fishing theme from above, here is a photo of the bait tank he helped the boys set up.  It consists of a 27-gallon bucket they bought for $13 and a Penguin filter we ordered on discount.  Can't beat the price of this setup, since most tank equipment runs hundreds of dollars! 

Since the leopard sharks that Jon loves to catch have an affinity for live bait, he and the boys keep this tank stocked with Bullhead, long-jaw mudsuckers, and gobies, all of which they catch from a local river.  Jon taught T and K all about each species of fish:  its habitat; its scientific and common names; and its food source.  They even attempted making their own bait.  While it didn't seem to work, they put a lot of thought and energy into it and all enjoyed the project.  Everyone is learning more about the salinity of fresh and salt water, the nitrate cycle, and fish health through this project.

Our next summer project was making a solar oven.  Who knew there were so many designs available?  We decided to go with the double-insulated box method, since we had all the materials on hand.  The kids had great fun assembling it!

Phoenix thought she'd get in on the fun as well.  After we placed a piece of glass on top and set the whole thing outside, we discovered that this particular setup, even when faced directly in the sun, would only heat up to 140 degrees F.  While it was never hot enough to cook or bake in, the fact that we did get it to more than double the outside temperature was good enough for our purposes.  (Now, I just need to go get it from the back yard where it's been languishing ever since.  I can't imagine what our neighbors think of all our junk lying around from these various projects!)

We planted herbs, some of which actually grew and survived, as well as a tray of tomatoes we bought from Costco.

I'd meant to grab a tray of Beefsteak, but when we got home, I realized I'd accidentally picked up a tray of Romas.  Imagine my surprise when, a few weeks later, Cherry tomatoes grew!  I've since heard from other people that they experienced the same thing after purchasing Costco Romas.  Quite comical, really!

I canned seven jars of Apricot jam and thirteen jars of Nectarine jam after my sister-in-law's parents graciously let us glean their fruit trees.

We came up with an amazing recipe for gluten-free, soaked oatmeal, blender waffles.

But, of course, I forgot to write down the recipe.  Am I the only one who does this???

Imagine our surprise to find this possum living under our porch one night.  He may look cute (or not) in this photo, but he was NOT happy to have been routed out of his home.

My brother Stephen came to stay with us for a weekend so that the kids could spend time with him and so that he and Jon could get in some good fishing.  Kyle is Stevie's buddy!

Before curiosity runs rampant at the above photo, let me explain:  we tried our hand at home-made vanilla extract.  Having no experience with Vodka types or prices, I asked my brother-in-law (who prides himself on his vast knowledge of such beverages) for some guidance.  Every online tutorial said to get the cheapest Vodka available, but Andrew recommended Kirland Vodka since it is actually Grey Goose Vodka in a Kirkland bottle.  Apparently, Grey Goose is the premium Vodka of choice.  Andrew got me this intimidatingly-large one.  (I'll admit that I was thankful not to have to go through the checkout line with this in my basket, especially with three spark plugs in tow!)

We added vanilla beans, cut down the center, to the Vodka.

A certain Spark Plug in a green shirt looks just a bit too eager about this project!!  The vanilla extract hasn't been curing long enough to taste it yet, but it already smells amazing, and I have high hopes that it will meet or exceed all expectations.

One of our final summer activities was swimming lessons for the boys.  We had them take two weeks of instruction through Sparkle Swim School, run by a friend of ours, and we were thrilled that Tyler learned to swim quite well and Kyle became much more water safe.  Looking forward to having all three take lessons next summer!

And just before the start of the new school year came the best surprise of all:  A new baby on the way!  While this pregnancy has not been very conducive to my being the best wife, mom, or teacher ever (and is why I said at the start of this post that the past few weeks have gone by very slowly), we managed to muddle through the first tough weeks together and are now trying to catch up on a few things that fell by the wayside.  I was very grateful to have gotten done as much this summer as we did, since we now have a more flexible school schedule as a result.

Eventually, I'll get back to blogging about more home school endeavors, but for now, I think this monster post will do!

All the Pretty Zebras

(Photo Credit)

It's been said that if you hear hoof beats, you should expect horses, not zebras.  While we've had our share of scares that have indeed turned out to be horses, I've come to learn that in our family, zebras aren't all that rare. 

I've shared in other posts about Jon's CSF leak.  Two surgeries - one major, one outpatient - later, it's back...again.  Early in the summer, he had a day of intense headaches and leaking, but when nothing followed, we thought that perhaps it had sealed on it's own (we believe it's done this at least one other time previously).

Last night, possibly brought on by the thunderstorm since barometric pressure causes him headaches, the leaking resumed.  Jon's surgeon has been hesitant to move forward until Jon could submit a sample to conclusively prove that this is another leak.  It took some hard work, a call to an advice nurse, and asking permission to jump ahead in line at the lab this morning, but we were finally able to submit a sample for testing.  Even if the lab cannot prove that this is CSF, we know without a doubt that this is what we're facing.

Part of me is shuddering at the thought of what might lie ahead.  I hate inconvenient doctor's appointments.  I hate hospitals.  I hate needles and surgeries and blood and all the other grossness that accompanies these things.  (The irony that I'm pregnant and will be facing much of these same things myself is not lost on me.)

And then I remember the promises found in God's Word, promises that the Lord will never leave me, that everything He does is for His glory, and that He will not send trials without giving us everything we need to get through them. 

I'm always amazed at myself when I realize that I so eagerly accept from His hand the blessings in life while simultaneously groaning over the things I consider to be a curse.  But should I accept the bitter cup with any less thanksgiving, knowing that He will never give me anything that is not for my ultimate good? 

This new baby?  A blessing!  The return of my health after a severe Vitamin D deficiency?  A blessing!  Yet another CSF leak?  Human logic would call this a curse.

But is it really?

I would venture to say that the CSF leak itself is NOT a good thing.  It jeopardizes Jon's health.  It causes him pain.  It frustrates us both.  It's a nuisance to the entire family.  It's just not fun.

On the other hand, if we have to live with it, I believe that it can bring about benefits that we would not have noticed otherwise.  It causes us to trust the Lord more fully.  It increases our prayer life.  It reminds us that life is precious and that time is valuable.  It makes us thankful for good health when we have it.  It's helped us appreciate the intricate workings of the human body and to see more clearly how only God could have designed us.  It teaches us to find things for which to be thankful even when it's tempting to gripe and complain about a given situation.

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It teaches us to find beauty in the zebras even when the world insists that there is loveliness only in wild mustangs.